How to move on from a divorce when you have a toddler?

[mamaoft]

Hi all. Just after some advice from anyone who's been through a divorce. How did you cope? I'm finding it all too much to deal with and very sad and upset that the idea of my perfect future has been shattered by my ex husband. Although we did share some good times and he helped me massively financially, however the bad definitely outweighed the good in our marriage. He was manipulative, controlling, a serial cheat, disrespectful and showed 0 interest in DD towards the end of the relationship and now, also. He's your typical narcissist.

I can't even bring myself to think about dating again, in fear of being betrayed and hurt again.

Any ideas to completely detach myself from exH? Although I'd love to go completely no contact but because of DD, I'm obliged to communicate with him through text and I absolutely can't block him. It has been a few months now and I still can't stop not thinking about him and feeling resentful and angry.

My soon to be ex H walked out when our twins were 1. Moved out a week later - all very sudden after nearly 20 years together. I would say take it a day at a time - don't stress about making medium or short term plans. There is obviously the logistics of divorce to get your head around but barring that just slow everything else down. A few months later I still have good and bad days. More good than bad but still often find myself getting tearful on a Monday morning with the knowledge that the week ahead is looming and no different to the last one in that im raising 3 very young children alone and it can often feel lonely and overwhelming

Set clear boundaries with your ex - mine thought he could just see the kids daily and not do any of the hard stuff (not interested in overnights) but I've been firm that he sees them every other weekend and unless the weather is awful he has to take them out (and not sit around my house)

Get rid of all of his stuff in the house if you are staying in it as soon as possible. I've also started to redecorate so that it feels like my space not ours