My sister’s daughter has lived with me for the last few years. She is quite a vulnerable young woman. She courts drama and attention but can be very sweet and kind. She has had some disastrous and extremely abusive relationships with men. Which is how she came to live with me. Her mother has her own problems and wasn’t able to cope with her any longer.
Recently my niece met a very pleasant young man who happens to be from a different religion/culture, through her work.
(All her boyfriends have seemed ok to begin with).
It has all become very serious very quickly. He has proposed and she has accepted. They are planning to be married as soon as they can arrange it.
They both have minimum wage jobs, and no savings.
She expects to carry on living with me when they are married.
My own children are all settled and have their own homes.
I really do not want to have a life long commitment to looking after my niece and her husband to be.
She is only 21 but wants “lots of babies soon”.
I have tried discussing the situation but she is very strong minded, when she wants something.
I am going to say I can’t afford to pay for the wedding- which is what they are expecting.
I am also going to ask her to find somewhere else to live once they are married.
I have met the young man’s parents, they feel it is too soon to marry and would prefer him to have a wife from the same background. They are very nice, caring parents but quite at a loss how to deal with my niece. They cannot help financially.
It’s all so difficult. I’m in my fifties and was hoping for a quieter life soon! I have lots of grandma duties and a part time job, which I enjoy.
I suppose I am hoping that someone will post don’t worry it may all work out for the best.
Its just the scenario- very different backgrounds, unrealistic expectations, no money, nowhere to live is panicking me! Is this unreasonable?
Also, In a nutshell I don’t want the responsibility- but am I morally bound to accept it?