Emotional abuse?

[Cookie2579]

I'm not saying that it would be easy for anyone to be a step-parent to my kids, (I have 3, one of who is autistic and has NF1), but I feel that there have been too many behaviors from my partner that have negatively impacted them and me. There are times where she has been emotionally abusive, involving name calling, bully-like behavior and loss of temper and this is happening far too often. This creates a source of anxiety for both me and the kids where we often feel on edge and unhappy. This has made me resent her and while I try to move past this in the hope that things will improve, I find myself feeling this resentment and anger again and again to the point that we have come close to splitting up at least half a dozen times now. Although I still love her, it has affected my feelings towards her and I have felt myself pulling away and I consequently feel like I'm punishing her by doing this. I'm constantly questioning myself and how I'm feeling and because she does many nice things for the kids and me, I often feel bad for having these negative thoughts about her.

Interested in people's thoughts please 🙏

Things won’t improve whilst she’s name calling and venting her temper. Don’t put your kids through this.

Did you post about this before? Are you also a woman? If so, I think the advice was that your partner is absolutely awful, was damaging your kids terribly and you should leave ASAP.

Put yourself and your children first. Leave her. She doesn't work in your best interests. Enjoy a much happier life without her.

Hi yes I may well have posted here before and I'm still in the same position. Yes I'm a woman

I think you need to put your children first and take a formal break from your partner. Maybe address the issue in therapy while living apart? If it’s bad enough to upset the children then you need to remove them from the situation. you had the children before you and your partner were together?

Yes, they're my biological children that I had in a previous relationship. I have suggested we have some time apart before, but she doesn't have anywhere to go, so it's never happened apart from one night apart when the kids where at their Dad's and I went to a friends.

She’s an adult so she needs to find somewhere to go. This is the consequence of her abusive behaviour and she needs to experience consequences.

Not this again. What more can anyone say? Stop allowing your children to be abused!!! There’s nothing else - put your innocent children first!

Adults don’t name call or bully children. End of.
She’s an adult, she can find somewhere to live and you need to prioritise your children.