Does everyone feel like this?

[nyccurrent]

Even if I speak to someone for just a few days from an online dating platform, I start to analyse their texts. Get really paranoid that they aren't as enthusiastic than they were a few days ago. I check when they were last active etc. and I get really bummed out if I don't get a response from them.

For instance I've been chatting with this woman I met online (im also a woman) for a week now, and the chat has definitely slowed down. She doesn't seem as enthusiastic. I don't say anything or show how im feeling but it has really impacted my mood.

Just last night she was offering to come down a 40 minute drive and fix my car for me and today she's been very off and very dry in her replies. I don't know if it's some sort of game as I have never spoken to a woman in this context before.

I think im probably not ready for dating but I don't know how to solve this as I can't afford therapy.

I read an article, not DM, where this was explained as a new thing, apparently these dating apps are just as addictive as scrolling down your phone when you are swiping. So, even if you match with someone, and have a chat, there are many, too many, that will simply move onto the next one, the new swipe normally, and then you get forgotten about until that individuals inbox gets a clean up.

I gave up on this. Not my cuppa and too many really strange behavior's going on for my liking. Then again I am a middle aged happy to be in my own company sort of woman.

I think it's par for the course with old, conversation's just seem to peter out . Try not to get too invested. X

I think with apps/texting (esp WhatsApp if the person has their 'last seen' visible) it does become quite addictive almost when you are interested and excited about someone. I don't obsess over anyone at the mo as I just don't find myself overly excited about any of my matches lately 😂 but I do find myself noticing if communication patterns change once I've established more of a connection. That could easily spiral for me due to past history. I have to be conscious not to check frequently as I know that's destructive for me.

The example you gave OP is quite extreme on face value, and you might be wondering what's changed and start getting worried, however she could have lots going on as opposed to the day she offered to sort your car. It could be she's met others she's more invested in chatting with. She could be pulling back after misinterpreting something you said. She could feel too ill or tired to text much. There's a hundred reasons but unless you ask, it's impossible to know and you have to try and control the spiralling (easier said than done!) I also think it might be easy to project insecurities when it's the early days of texting and a relationship as everything is fragile and new. Particularly if you had a bad experience or trust issues in a previous relationship. I always try to bear that in mind if I start to notice changes and try to get busy and not to let myself think too much about it!

It sounds like you are texting for too long and start getting invested just as they are losing enthusiasm. Don't expect to chat longer than a few days on the app. If you are still app messaging after a week it's going to dwindle as it hasn't progressed.

But we are chatting on WhatsApp and have a date arranged