Navigating online dating 😩

[SpacedOut9]

Hello all,

Back in the online dating game. I’ve been working on my boundaries a lot over recent years, e.g. just calling it a day with people who make a habit of cancelling dates at the last minute, not allowing myself to enter situations which leads to being pressured into sex, being clearer about what I want from a relationship, etc. However, I still find myself being wounded and generally quite upset when things ends, even if the “romance” has only been very short-lived, and hasn’t been intimate, etc., and then find myself just wanting to give up and be single. I’m not sure whether to take it as just normal human behaviour or emotions, or whether to interpret it as “I’m not ready to date, and need to work on my resilience”.

What do you think?

It's difficult isn't it, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have feelings, getting hurt and disappointed naturally makes us want to give up. I think seeing them as potential and gradually let feelings build up over time or at least not to show them and be too vulnerable until it's lasted a while. Easier said than done when you are excited about someone I know.

@samestyle yes, that’s it. You can’t help but feel this surge of excitement when you meet someone that gives you lots of attention and you’ve put time and effort into meeting them/talking to them/arranging dates, and then profound disappointment when things don’t work out. I just wonder whether I need to be more resilient, or whether this is just normal in the online dating world.