Has anyone else got a parent with diagnosed personality disorder?

[Felixss]

DM has been sectioned multiple times , she has a DX of histrionic personality disorder and other things. She walked out when I was 13 then moved to a remote area ,5 hours away history of physical and emotional abuse towards me and my siblings. Siblings have gone NC. I'm on holiday in the area I saw her today she was dressed in full on camouflage gear complete with matching hat and walking stick that looks like a shepherd's hook. I saw her the other day and she complained she couldn't move , asked me to tie up her shoes , put out the bins. Couldn't walk more than 50 metres. Today my 10 yo DD came to see her , she could suddenly walk to the shop , and gave my DD the cane to hold while she did her shopping and DM walked ahead her weight bearing was fine. I get mobility conditions are fluctuating but this was like Lazarus.

I took her out for a meal, she loudly complained there was no salad main course. My mother is obese, I told her to just ask for chilli and salad without the jacket potato. She ate the meal and tried to offer some to my partner and daughter while knocking stuff over. She loudly asked my partner questions and wouldn't let him answer. Everything is attention seeking her clothing , the way she acts in public , the faking illnesses and hopelessness in everyday life. She's capable in quite a lot of ways

I don't think I could ever go full NC I'd feel too guilty but she causes me so distress. I just want to shake her my 10 year old asked what the hell was grandma wearing and why is she so childish 😩😩.

Can anyone else relate?

Yes, my mother was diagnosed with both narcissistic and histrionic personality disorders by a psychiatrist. She has absolutely zero care or regard for anyone other than herself and was truly evil at points in the past, mostly to me. She also likes to seek attention via doctors and medical care. In fact, she has a completely unnecessary major surgery scheduled next month that will make her miserable because she has no pain tolerance whatsoever.

Whenever anyone asks about her I say things like “Oh, she’s just charming” and “She’s a real peach.” I’m sure you can relate. 😂

FIL has narcissistic personality disorder.

We did our best for years, but I feel you it is so so so hard.

Eventually we went no contact- the final straw was him deciding to bring us to court to force us to share custody of our children with him. We're happily married and our children are well cared for. But he didn't agree that we hired a nanny instead of asking him and MIL to provide childcare (they'd never offered- not that we would have wanted that). So he literally hired lawyers and dragged us to court. It cost us tens of thousands, dragged on for a year. The court threw it out.

But it showed us how incredibly harmful his actions could be to our lives. We always told ourselves we could manage with him because at the end of the day, no matter how difficult he was eventually he'd go back to his house or we'd drive back to ours and there was a safe space where we lived our lives, made our own choices and raised our kids in peace and calm. By bringing the court action he tried to reach his hand into our safe space and deny us even that.

So we never spoke to him again.

We should have done it earlier. The guilt and sadness is real- but it is nothing compared to the freedom, the headspace, the peace, the calm, the weight that has been lifted.

I'd consider NC or very LC if I was you. How have your siblings found it?