Is it me or am I right?

[Jjandboom]

My husband had a failing business partner ship, so he asked me to join him as husband and wife, to start a new business doing what he was doing. I knew nothing about his job but gave up my own business to start, as I trusted the reason his previous failed was because of ex business partner.
I learnt accountancy, had to work very hard to learn all this new job, and worked pretty much every single day, and evening, and weekend. And became a single mother to 3 children and he was never home and when he was , he was too tired. House work, cooking, clubs. Home work, all me. I never moaned.I succeeded and built a huge client base with some big named people on board.
Problem was , my husband never worked out the profit margin, he'd been in this job for 8 years, after about 5months , I could see this was not teething problems, we were not profitable even being as busy as we were.
My husband has now been offered a huge deal 50/50 with a successful business man. Great, but I lose my 50% . I'm happy for him, but I feel I worked just as hard,and lose my job, whilst he's gained off his hard work, plus mine.
When I mentioned I was down hearted about losing something I thought I deserved, he didn't care, and tried to make me more angry?! I asked why and he said because he just wants me to get really angry so I let it go.
He also will not let me meet said business man, as I may mess it up for him, apparently .
This has just devastated me, we are up to our eye Alls in debt because of this business I trusted him to work, and I put in so much effort and made this business man even look at him with my constant online work I did, yes my husband is an excellent worker and fantastic at his job, but I really did put in.

I'm exhausted being a single mum, and now, a jobless one, and not understood by my partner what so ever. I've always had his back and never moaned once, but, I'm starting to feel like a walk over. Am I? Or is it me?

Well, I completely get your unhappiness but what are you losing? Because it sounds like 50% of an unprofitable business
I’m which case best to get out before you get debts

have you thiought about either restarting your own business or looking for a job that utilises all the skills you’ve learned?

also, get him to do his share of the house / children chores!

Thanks. This is helpful, good point about getting out of the unprofitable one, it's just he's going on to a profitable one and I feel I earnt my place!
Yes I've thought about using my new skills etc not a bad idea thankyou.
I appreciate the reply, thanks. 😊

He also will not let me meet said business man, as I may mess it up for him, apparently .

Hmm. Are you sure this is all true? Smells like bullshit to me.

I think it'd probably be a good thing to have a career unconnected to his dealings.

He has no compunction about fucking you over, whether it's you giving up your business to support his, you taking up the slack up at home and now losing your 50% of the company? It should be that you and he each give up 25%, not you alone.

I'd be looking to be independent of him - you're not a team, he's out for himself and I wouldn't trust him as far as you can throw him.

Is this new business partner buying your 50%? Ask when you'll get your money!

So this new business partner is buying your 50%? Set your price.
it doesn’t sound like your husband is a fantastic businessman if he’s not making a profit despite your work in creating a client base. Setting your profit margin is the most basic thing imaginable, even kids selling on sweets in the playground have worked that one out!
Sell your 50%.
Make sure you are removed from everything to do with the business so you are not liable for debts.
Set up your own company or get a job and keep your money separate.
I wouldn’t make any long term plans with your husband.

What's the legal position here? If you started the business with him do you own it 50:50?
I would check out legalities first because he shouldn't be able to just take the business and dump you to sell 50% to another person, if you officially own part of the business.
Or did he just make you do the work but you're not named anywhere?

And while you are looking into the legalities of this you should also plan how you can be independent of him - ie. working in a job to earn your own money, or running your own business completely separate from him. Not going to be easy with children to raise too but important that you have some independence. He's just going to screw you over every which way he can.

Apart from the technicalities (he can't just drop you, legally)

I asked why and he said because he just wants me to get really angry so I let it go

... this isn't someone who cares about your feelings.

Sorry.

So one failed business, and the one with you which isn’t profitable, and you think this new business man who you are not allowed to meet…sound bullshit to me and I would be thinking the entire relationship as he’s treating you appallingly, he needs to get a real job and stop playing the big I am!

Yes I agree with you all. It is appalling behaviour.
I'm feeling quite done with it all and him to be honest.
He needs to grow up. Quickly.

Christ divorce him

you do the accounts so is something dodgy going on?

No nothing dodgy I've done the accounts as best as I can to the best of my knowledge. He's now left to stay at his mums. Walked out on me and the kids, because I stood my ground and said he needs to accept responsibility for his actions. He left me for 2 weeks in school holidays replying to angry customers because he didn't tell them things would be late or missing from orders.

But ofcourse. I'm in the wrong. I've been left so much crap to deal with because of his actions it's unreal. And he walks out!