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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mum and inappropriate comments

29 replies

Dolares · 06/04/2023 15:09

She's always been a bit... odd, but her comments seem to get worse as she gets older (nearly 70).

She's visiting us at the moment (only happens once or twice a year) and she announces to my DCs that she liked going over the hills in the car because "it feels nice down below"! Fortunately DC are young enough that they hadn't got a clue what she was talking about and they were distracted by something else anyway. But i heard it and have added it the list in my head of other weird shit she has said.

One example: That DH will find somewhere else to "dip his wick" if I don't get my act together. (I had severe PND)

Add this to her loud shrill voice that goes right through me, her negativity and her insistance of being correct all the time and I find her a very difficult person to be around. Only 5 more days to go.

OP posts:
cheeseandketchupsandwich · 06/04/2023 17:12

Do what you need to do to get through the visit.

During that time, do not compromise on boundaries that involve your kids.

When she's left, get yourself into counselling. It will help you clear your head and make decisions about how you want your relationship with her to be.

Come her next visit, you'll be feeling much stronger.

Do it for you x

Dolares · 06/04/2023 17:26

Do I have to go through my GP to access counselling? I had a small amount of CBT after my youngest was born but it was the health visitor that sorted that.

I believe it is something that will help me and in turn, help my children. My biggest fear is that i become my mother, so I need help to unpack everything.

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 06/04/2023 17:58

Depending on where you live you may have an NHS service such as IAPT which you can self-refer to. Usually CBT. Psychotherapy is usually hard to get on NHS.

www.england.nhs.uk/mental-health/adults/nhs-talking-therapies/

SparklingLime · 06/04/2023 17:59

More useful link: www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-nhs-talking-therapies-service

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