Can I ask for your thoughts on this please?

[OohABalloon]

I'm going to stick to the bare bones of this for brevity but am happy to elaborate if necessary.

My partner and I decided to go out in a couple of weeks.. There is an event on both the Friday and Saturday night. I can only do Saturday due to a prior commitment.

We agreed to go on Saturday and he suggested inviting his adult children along which I was more than happy with.

I asked him last night if they'd got back to him yet. They can only do Friday.

He's doing it with them on the Friday instead.

It was me who said, when he told me, oh you should probably do that then. And I meant it genuinely. He spends far more time with me and my kids than he does his own and he hasnt seen them for a few weeks. But now I'm starting to wonder if that was the right thing to do. I don't have a problem with him spending time with his kids obviously but I am a bit disappointed that the plans have changed and I won't be doing it at all.

What would you have done?

I think it's important that your partner spends time with his kids. Why can't he go to both nights so you can go together on Saturday?

Yeah I do too which is why I suggested it.

I was just reflecting on my own boundaries I suppose.

It's not the sort of thing you'd want to do on two consecutive nights. There will be other times though.

Yes of course it’s important your partner spends time with his kids, but if I’ve understood it correctly, he’s hijacked your suggestion of an event to do with him, and is doing it with them instead!?

Surely he can see his kids another time?
Yes adult kids are important, but that would piss me off, and I’ve got three adult kids of my own and my husband has two, so I do see this from both sides.

It’s a bit much, have you mentioned how you feel about it?