Perspective on how my boyfriend communicates?

[Rentytin]

Boyfriend of 1 year. When we have a disagreement he can get quite nasty, rude, shouts (I feel he is shouting he says he isn’t).
ive asked numerous times, outside of an argument, can we talk about how we communicate when we argue.
he says this is how he is, that he thinks anything should go in an argument as things are heated and we can resolve them after. He has promised not to swear at me and has kept that promise as that’s a big boundary for me.
he said in terms of how he ‘could’ be, that he’s holding back with me and I haven’t seen the worst yet.
he basically has said this is him, he’s not prepared to changed and doesn’t feel he can or should, isn’t really prepared to talk about it either, that he’s quick to anger and always has been.

I mean, he communicates just fine in the sense that he has told you clearly he plans to continue yelling at you in a way you don’t like during arguments, and that if you think this is bad, you’re wrong, because he can be much worse.

I don’t see how he could put it more clearly.

He’s told you what he’s like and that he doesn’t plan to change. He has no interest in becoming a man who argues without shouting and rudeness.

So the question is, do you want to stay in a relationship with a man who is happy to continue shouting at you, or worse?

I've read so many threads on here where women, sometimes quite strong independent women, get into this type of relationship - to their own detriment. They get so invested in the relationship, hoping their partner will get better over time (after there are times he's fun, nice, etc) and end up trapped, living together, entangling finances, having children together with someone who doesn't respect them enough to be a decent human being even the minimum of the time. Don't let that be you, OP. You are worth more than this. 🌹

@Rentytin the first year of a new romance is usually full of fun times, sex and feelings of butterflies in the tummy.

You should be in full blown cock-goggle mode seeing and feeling only good things.

The fact you are having arguments and he is admitting to having a nasty temper is a HUGE red flag of nope. He is at the beginning of training you to accept his version of love.

Its not normal or healthy and he wouldn't treat work colleagues like that but he is learning he can with you because you want to help him/he can change/you make him better but no, you really don't and cannot.

Dump him and move on. It's better to be alone for awhile than be with someone who like this.

You do deserve better.

The hills are that way---->Don't stop running til you get there.