When someone is even slightly kind to me,I basically fall in love with them,why?!

[Blinkery]

It's an ongoing theme in my life that has ultimately seen me be limerent for a number of men and women. There's no major back story I don't think, my DH was the first,ten years older than me. Parents relationship difficult,not loving and he bullied her a bit.
Anyone have any insight?

Look at Tim Fletcher CPTSD on YouTube. You will find your answer amongst his amazing lectures. Good luck.

I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I got with my ex

Did your father show you affection? Did you feel you had to earn it?

This usually stems from emotional deprivation in childhood. You're still craving love and validation so when someone gives you kind attention you're like a moth to a flame. I was exactly the same until I healed through years of therapy.

I don’t know why, but I recognise that behaviour in myself too.
I have diagnosed EUPD, C-PTSD, and had an abusive and neglectful upbringing.
It’s really hard, my attachment is all over the place. I can get obsessive with healthcare providers- which I feel such shame about, as I know it’s inappropriate. I fall for completely unsuitable men.
I think I’m desperately seeking that love, care, attention and nurturing that I missed out on at a crucial time.
I probably need therapy, but then it can happen all over again.

Because you see any Random Act Of Kindness directed at you personally as some sort of sign that you are lovable and worthy.

It boils down to low self esteem.

My parents weren’t emotionally available and I’m a bit like this. I craved kindness as a child and younger adult. I’ve had a lot of therapy and have worked on myself a great deal and I’m so lucky, my DH is extremely kind and caring so I’m a lot better now.

Following with interest. I have this issue too, but never wanted for affection throughout my childhood. My dad is a very closed book who has never told me he loves me (though I know he does and he always showed it in other ways) so it was suggested it stems from that.

I am like this and I hate it. It has ruined many a potential friendship.

I've had therapy and CBT, I know the origin to be abandonment by my father and emotional neglect and cruelty by my mother, but that doesn't change the fact that it keeps on happening, no matter how much I try to rationalise things at the time.

If anyone has found a way out, please do share.

Thanks for this, he is good.

I'm exactly like this too, it's blighted my whole life really. I had a normal childhood though, my parents weren't perfect of course but they loved me and did everything you'd expect for 80s/90s parents. So not sure what my problem is.

It's crazy isn't it, how most people on this thread can have very similar traumas but have come out the other side different.

I had an emotionally unavailable parent and before therapy was far more likely to seek more of the same. Wasn't interested in people who were nice to me.

But yeah it's probably some unaddressed trauma OP - some good recommendations for therapy above