40 years old and never been in a relationship

[user98009876]

I'm 40 female and I have never had a relationship. I feel so embarrassed that I have got to 40 and never had a boyfriend.
I feel like such a loser 😞

Why be embarrassed, maybe you’ve had a lucky escape?! Do you actually want a relationship?

Is this something you craved earlier on? Was it a priority then or just now?

You’re not a loser I’m sure. You’re far from the only one as I’ve seen a couple of similar posts in the last couple of months. Have you considered online dating? Seems to be the way to meet people now if you’re not via your hobbies / work / personal life

Have you tried to meet people? Do you have many friends?

I don't know if I do I think I see other people in relationships and it makes me feel a bit lonely at times but then at other times I love been on my own and enjoy my own company.

I don't have may friends more acquaintance than friends. I haven't tried to meet people

Do you want a relationship? You don’t have to have one. I think it sounds like you might be a bit isolated though if you don’t have many friends either. Do you get up to much outside of working? Maybe you could try an activity?

This is a bit left field and I mean it very kindly, but have you considered whether you might be autistic? Do you feel there are issues in any other area of your life or is it just the lack of a partner?

I’m fully aware there are many, many reasons (positive as well as negative) for not having a partner, but as this is one option in that many I thought it worth putting out there just in case it was helpful. I’ve known adults who’ve discovered they are on the autism spectrum and finding this out has been a very positive experience.

I have never had a long term relationship, only short term ones.

Frankly I have no interest in domesticity and the short-term flings I had never made me happy (most of the men I came across were selfish, feckless and in one case abusive) so I have absolutely no interest in being in any kind of romantic relationships anymore.

I have friends, a job, various hobbies/interests, a nice place to live and I am very happy without a relationship and I love living on my own. I am much, much happier now than when I was dating.

My point is relationships are not the only thing in life that can make you fulfilled and happy.

If you want a relationship, then put yourself out there on the dating scene but also focus on other aspects of your life, like making friends and developing your hobbies, because it is a much healthier place to be than just putting all your hopes and worries on finding a partner.

I didn't have a boyfriend till 45. I.knew I wanted to meet someone but didn't do anything about it. I had a full social life so 90 percent of time wasn't bothered. Have had 2 2 and a half year relationships. 1st one ended through his infidelity. I realised after how selfish he was. Initially was fine. He wasn't bothered in the slightest thet I had never had a boyfriend. Second one was great but he had undisclosed mental health issues. Try and do more if u don't feel u have enough friends. I met both men on OLD..