Whenever something goes wrong or we have a fallout. My sister would always pin the blame on me and say that I'm turning into my abuser.
For a bit of background when I was with my abuser it was the first relationship that I had been in, I was 20 years old, young and naive. Before I got into this relationship me and my sister were very close, we'd do everything together and I would often pay for her whenever we'd go anywhere to eat/activities clothes jewellery etc. I loved to do this as it made me feell good because we grew up with not a lot and I wanted to give her things that I wished I had growing up. She would also often come out with me and my friends and she didn't have any of her own. Now understandably going from that to barely spending time with each other must have been upsetting for her. I was with someone very controlling and manipulative and sadly me and my sister distanced from each other. However after leaving the relationship when we'd fall out ,( often over small things like me telling her to make sure she turns the heating off when leaving the house) it would always turn Into "you're just like him" or "you're turning into him" this would really break my heart as she knew everything I went through with him and that he was abusive and would hit me and put me down. That is not me. I am not an abuser. However she would make me doubt myself when she would say that. Yes, I would get upset and annoyed over small things sometimes but I was hurting. She would say that I would try to "buy her off" but I would only buy things and pay for her meals out of love not to bribe her. I just like giving to people that I love and would want her to have the things I didn't have growing up. And now it has gotten to the point where we don't speak at all. At one point she was making my life hell and would not let me sleep when I'd have work at 4am and would cut up my underwear, so I had no choice but to kick. Her out my room . I would wonetimes lose it and shout becayse she would really push me to the edge. But i told her you cant expect me to be happy when you act like this towards me and not expect a reaction. and then shed cry to my mum saying I didn't want her in the house.
I tried to reach out and invited her to a mother's day meal witj my mum and brother and she said thank u at the end. I thought it would lead to the start of a reconciliation but the next week she is talking down on me again.
My mum would always say I need to try harder and be kinder to her but how when this is the response I'm met with.
I feel like they have made me out to be a villain and I feel so lonely. We haven't spoken in almost 3 years and nothing breaks my heart more. I miss my sister but she wants nothing to do with me and thinks I am an abuser.