9 months pp, still no sex?

[Wetwipe23]

im not sure if this is the right place to post but I’m just looking for others experience..

im nearly 9 months pp and DP was always adamant he before our LG was born he felt uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with her the bedroom.. once she was 7.5 months we moved her into her own room which only lasted a week before the sleep regression hit and she’s ended up back in the bedside cot as that’s the only place we get a fraction of sleep!

im struggling to understand whether it is just our daughter being in our bedroom that’s the problem or if he’s really just not into me anymore? I’ve brought the topic up many times and he just says it’ll return to ‘normal’ one day and I shouldn’t panic but I’m struggling to see how we can ever get back to normal or whether this is the start of the end of our relationship??

please tell me I’m just a tired over sensitive mess that can’t think straight and that it’ll all work itself out???

Unless he's willing to open up further, you'll have to take him at his word. You can only find out by having your DD in her own room - a week wasn't long to give it. Have you tried musical mobiles as a distraction? My son loved his, it played classical music and was very colourful, no issue sleeping on his own from 6months, h'ed laugh and giggle at it until he fell asleep .
If you take away the reason for your DP's avoidance, then you'll know if it's an excuse or not.

Could be loads of reasons, tiredness, new to parenthood, could see you as a mother now, not a lover, maybe doesn’t want another child now or anytime soon, could be almost anything

I think it takes a really long time to get back to ‘normal’. I used to find it weird when pregnant then realised with a baby beside your bed making little noises it’s even more weird so there wasn’t a lot happening until he went into his own room at 7/8 months. We are lucky in that we aren’t at all sleep deprived, he’s always been a great sleeper but it has been hard to get back into any sort of routine. I’m now pregnant again so about to go through the whole cycle again 🙈 I would say focus on getting baby’s sleep sorted and getting her into her own room then cross the next bridge after that

Have sex somewhere else that isn’t the bedroom - if he still refuses then you know he’s lying about the reason .

Maybe he is shallow and finds your body different - yes some men are this pathetic .

Maybe make some time for yourselves which isn’t nighttime or when you are waiting for the baby to wake up. Could you ask a family member or friend to take the little one out for a few hours so that you can go out to lunch together or go to the cinema for the matinee and factor in a couple of hours at home alone afterwards?

Surely you can have sex elsewhere?

Just have sex in the living room.