Help!! Do you ever get over dad being able to move on?

[paigeeemay64]

I’ll try to make this as short as possible! Me and my kids dad have been off and on for 6 years. Nearly 4yo and 2yo now. He’s mostly abusive in different forms, emotionally/mentally and a few times physically. The times in between have always been the best (as they usually are) he’s been unfaithful more times than I care to know about. I broke up with him on Sunday, I know factually that he’s not good for me and I won’t be happy with him, unfortunately I got with him at 18 (now nearly 24) and I think it’s made me emotionally vulnerable to him - very easy for me to take him back. When we are together I get extra help, money and company. I find it so hard to deal with that he can go off and live his life while I’m stuck at home with 2 toddlers 24/7 (I WFH and youngest doesn’t go to nursery yet) I love them more than anything but it’s so hard and I don’t get any help with childcare unless it’s from him. He’s not planning any visits with them currently. How do I get over it? It makes me want to get back with him because I’m jealous he can live his life and do whatever he wants 😩

But it’s so hard and damaging being in an abusive relationship, for you and your children, that if you stick with the separation you will be stronger in the long run. Do you have people to support you emotionally? Xx

I know I will be happy and find someone else in years to come and everything will work out but it’s just so hard when I’m so conflicted with my emotions atm! I’m very up and down and back and forth with my decision. Yes thankfully I have 2 very good friends who support me and help where they can! Xx

Maybe some professional support from
womans aid or somewhere similar would be helpful too, it can be so hard to stick with the decision to leave but keeping going back is doing more damage to your self esteem and belief in yourself. Stay strong! Give it time and you will get stronger, you sound like you have a good understanding of why you need to leave, just keep focusing on that. Good luck OP💪🏻xx

OP, start by creating some new Easter traditions that are just for you and your dcs. Easter egg hunt, eating chocolate in bed on Easter Sunday. All without any nastiness or stress. No-one to spoil the fun.

Who cares what he can do. He's a loser and you are well rid of him. Just concentrate on generating as many smiles as possible this holiday, including for you. Take lots of pictures. Indulge yourself a little 🙂

Thankyou ladies! I start therapy next week too so hopefully I can stick to my guns long enough to make my decision final! Xx

Or you can tell yourself you’ve made your decision final and are now going to make more decisions to make your life happier.
The idea of making new traditions for you and your children is an excellent one. Do something fun with the children, take photos and remember when you look at them how free you felt.
The past with him sounds pretty bleak, why go back to that when your future could be so much better?

Great re the therapy, you are doing all the right things and you can do this OP….🥰xxx

You request maintenance from him.
You spend the money by enrolling the children into free child care and paid child care whilst you go off and learn a new skill to get a job for yourself when they both go to school.