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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you deal with people you don’t get on with but have to see every day?

1 reply

Grumbless · 03/04/2023 19:45

I’m in a stressful situation and just dont know how to deal with it. I live on a council estate and don’t have much option for moving off because private renting is so expensive.

I’ve got a big football field with a little park right across from my house and a lot of the neighbours sit outside all day in chairs smoking weed and gossiping and arguing with people. I’m polite and friendly when I see them but I think they think that I think I’m better than them, if that makes sense because I don’t let my kids round smoke and I don’t drink and I put my car seats in the car facing backwards because both my kids are under 4 and I breastfeed. I’ve never been smug about any of these things and I feel really embarrassed when they ask me why I do these things but I try to just laugh it off and say ‘you know me, I’m just OTT about things because I’m a weird’.

Anyway, it’s clear they don’t really like me and have been extra funny with me this year after I said no to a few of their cheeky requests (wanting to borrow money mainly). I don’t mind this, they’re not people I’d choose to be friends with anyway but it makes things really really awkward for me every time I leave my house or my kids want to play outside because they’re right there stood next to me pretending I’m not there but saying hello to everyone else they see.

What’s a good way to cope with situations like this? They sometimes do passive aggressive stuff too and occasionally shout insults but nothing bad enough to be harassment or antisocial behaviour I don’t think, I’m under Yorkshire housing if anyone knows the rules for it. I just want to learn how to stop feeling bad and awkward and stressed out and panicky every time I have to leave my house, I’m not a very strong person really and I’m always on my own usually while they’re in a huge group of about 15 people usually.

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 03/04/2023 20:43

That's an awful situation to be in, and most HA's would count it as bullying and anti social behaviour. Do you have a housing officer? Find out who that is and phone them for an off the record chat, tell the how uncomfortable its makes you feel and ask them if there is anything they can do.
They might be able to arrange to be in the neighbourhood on other business ~(not calling at your house) to see it for themselves.

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