So I'm really fed up and I just need some objective advice. I'll start with a bit of background...
I had only been seeing my partner for about 6 months when I fell pregnant with our daughter. Our relationship started off the back of the messy end of a very difficult/borderline abusive previous relationship for me, and my partner pretty much pulled me out of that situation and helped me get back on my feet. Prior to that I'd had a really tough few years, with bereavement, pretty intense family stuff relating to finding out about family members I didn't know about, and of course the pandemic. We knew having a child would be tough for us, as he would need to move cities, move into my house and as he isn't a British citizen, there were worries about stability and work etc. But do you know what, we've done it and are now 6 months down the line with a happy, healthy baby. He was a great support for the first few months, however since Christmas we have been having arguments on and off and recently it has got much worse... he doesn't seem to understand how tired I am sometimes and that I am not always wanting intimacy, especially really late at night when our baby has often just gotten to sleep. He sees it as rejection, no matter how much we try and talk it through. He has also been really insecure since the start about the fact that the house is in my name, because he feels I could throw him out at any time. Which I have reassured him about, but whatever I do he doesn't seem to feel at ease. I get it, but what more can I do? This is the financial situation we are in.
I feel like I have been putting in my absolute all - literally everything I've got to make it work. We have had a lot of talks, set goals for spending time together as a family and trying to spend more quality time in the evening. He went away to the States for 3 weeks recently and I looked after our daughter single-handedly for that time. In July he will leave the UK for 3 months to do some qualifications abroad and I am moving in with a family member so as to have some support during this time. At no point have I made an issue of him going away. A few weeks ago I had arranged to meet a family member that I was meeting for the first time - he was meant to be going with me and pulled out at the last minute, over something I'd done that offended him (which at that point he hadn't even told me about!)
All I'm getting at the moment is sulking (sometimes for no apparent reason) and threats that he's leaving (despite telling me he'll always be around). We used to have a really good, positive relationship and there are still days and even weeks when it's like that, but then we have an argument, or he'll start sulking again. It just feels really volatile and I never know which version of him I'm going to get. I really don't know what to do, or whether things will start to improve, but I just want what's best for my daughter in the longterm, and I want her to have a good relationship with him.
Sorry for long post! x