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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Whats wrong with me?

3 replies

EdieEllen09 · 03/04/2023 17:43

Right, i apologise in advance incase this all sounds like the ramblings of a teenage girl but i feel like im going mad.Im 31 years old, ive had a few serious relationships in the past. Two which were both 5+ years. Ive been single now for about 4 years and newly dating this guy i met around xmas time. For so long i struggled to connect with anyone on a romantic level and felt that everything was forced. Now im seeing this guy and i have genuine feelings for him but for some reason i can't get out of my own head.Its as if ive forgotten how to be with someone. Im always reading into things hes said or done and making up scenarios in my head about how its going to end because hes just not interested, but in reality hes said/done nothing of the kind to make me feel like that. Its all me...i know this and i dont know why i do it. I feel like im taking the enjoyment out of us being together because i have my guard totally up because to me "well hes just going to lose interest soon anyway so why bother"I really don't want to be like this and i dont understand where its coming from. Can anyone relate or offer any advise? Thanks

OP posts:
Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 17:55

Hi Op 👋

What you are doing is called Sabotage its based on past experiences you have had, so you have low expections in case you get hurt , rejected Again,
as it's affected your self esteem/you lack cofindence in yourself

It's very common this is to,
It's a emotional trauma response to protect yourself

hugefanofcheese · 03/04/2023 17:57

Have you done a lot of online dating?

I really relate to what you're saying. I too have had a number of good, lasting relationships, 4 years quite intense OLD -i'm mid 30s and want a family so took it seriously- but just not quite the one until (hopefully) last summer when I met my partner who is ace. Yet I keep reading into things and upsetting myself for nothing.

I think it's because of my experiences on OLD. Not all bad at all, looking back, but it was a long slog of chatting to then meeting strangers, nothing happening and going back to being strangers, or having a short fling but it feeling not quite right and then going back to nothing. And a few idiots in between. So, not necessarily great heartbreaks but an ongoing mill of my hopes getting raised and dashed, even when i learnt to keep my expectations in check.

I feel like it might take a while to fully relax from feeling like connections are transient.

What I have been doing, if I start getting worried about something, is to resolve to put it to the back of my mind, sleep on it, then reconsider the next day whether it was a problem. That is to say, not talking myself round if there is a real issue, but not getting worked up if in the light of day, it's nothing. Whether or not you were OLD, could you maybe try that? If something pings up, mentally note it, put it to one side then quickly assess if it's anything to worry about with a bit of distance?

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 18:02

It's based on faulty way of thinking , in that cause of having negative adverse (shitty experiences, the mind anticipates expects more of the same crap,
Hence self Sabotage potential good relationship, cause of low self worth,

It's essentially being self destructive

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