I fking dislike him so much. Blocked drain.

[Rogdog]

So. I’ve just cooked dinner. No thanks from him at all. He left plate on the table like he always fucking does. I commented - said I’ll put it in dishwasher then. He’s been unblocking the drain outside. As a counter comment he starts having a go at me because I’ve put a saucepan in to soak which still had bits of mashed potato in it. We have a sink filter which catches any crap, so I’d never pour left over mash straight down the drain. I’m so bloody pissed off. I’ve spent the whole weekend organising a party, organising kids, shopping, cleaning the whole house for the in-laws and scraping moss off the lawn. This drain has been his only job. He’s done absolutely nothing this weekend - or ever - without a reminder or prompting. He never fucking does any loading of the dishwasher or washing up - so IF its my fault that the drain is blocked, then AT LEAST I’ve bloody tried to keep the kitchen clean - unlike him. I REALLY hate him right now.

Lazy fucker!! I wont say, 'leave at all and he'll be forced to do it' as its highly unlikely he will and I get that you dont want shit piling up.

However, I would stop making his meals, washing his clothes and doing anything for him that won't I convenience you in any way.

Why do so many women people put up with this shit?
Why are you cooking for the lazy tit in the first place?
Does he have any redeeming qualities? Why are you with him?

Why did you say, I’ll put it in dishwasher then like a passive aggressive martyr rather than, can you put your plate in the dishwasher. Thanks ?

Because he never bloody does it. The polite approach doesn’t work. The passive aggressive approach doesn’t work - but at least I feel better by getting some of my aggression out. The drain is still blocked. I said I’ll get some drain unblocker today. He says he’ll get some. He bloody won’t though. He’ll ‘forget’.

Did the washing up, tidied the lounge while he leisurely opened the post. He spends about 15 minutes examining each letter.

“Didn’t occur to me” is his favourite bloody phrase. When bins have been left, appointments have been forgotten.

Anyway he’s gone to work so I feel at peace now. And he never gets home til 9pm because he’s doing his own special leisurely forgetful pace at work.

Are you formulating a plan to leave this relationship OP? Because it sounds like a desperately unhappy one where you (quite fairly) feel undervalued and resentful as a result. The rest of your life doesn't have to be like this.

Yes OP life isn’t meant to be miserable. You don’t have to stay with a man who treats you like an all purpose drudge. The resentment will just eat you up from the inside out and now you are hyper vigilant for any transgression of his. It’s not a life

Some jobs need to be his. Totally his. Whether he does them or not is his problem. Or make plans to live away from this manchild.

@Rogdog life isn't supposed to be like this. It's turned out that way because you've let him think that because he goes out to work all day, you should be taking care of everything else.

Nope to that.

Sit him down and tell him that he either starts taking on more domestic load or you will stop doing his share full stop and then you back that up.

Do NOT cook his meals or do his laundry. Don't but cards for birthdays etc. Don't do any admin for him and if he is happy to let the house go to ruin, then you should move out for a few days so he can enjoy living in it. Maybe plan a long weekend away or go stay with your folks. Let him see how much mess he creates.

You have to fight back or it will fester within you until you have emotionally checked out of the relationship.

Sounds like your relationship is dead OP. Just going on your posts.

Time for a chat before he's surprised that he didn't see the end coming.

If you haven't got any children I'd be off...he's a knob.

So politeness doesn't work. Passive aggressive doesn't work (it never does). How about anger? Why are you not more angry with him? Why not tell him to put the dishes away in the dishwasher because you're not his fucking servant?

Why do you stay with him, @Rogdog ?

Why are you still together? He obviously has no respect for you and you don't seem to like him.

So just leave his plate on the table then? It’s you putting up with it. You need to show him that you will not put up with this anymore. Make a list. I mean, you don’t have to stay with a useless man.

I think I'd forget to cook his tea (oh it never occurred to me), and his washing (oh it never occurred to me) and anything else that will stop occurring to me