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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I do the right thing?

5 replies

barbarabeagle · 01/04/2023 14:38

My partner and I split up for several months and when we got back together I had suspicions that perhaps he'd had a fling with a local woman. It was nothing concrete, just a feeling. The first time I saw her was when he and I were walking our dog and she was walking hers and we bumped into her and she seemed to know DP. I thought DP seemed a bit awkward during the interaction and seemed to 'pretend' not to know her.

I put it out of my mind because it was none of my business what he did while we were split up. Apart from a handful of times I saw her after that from a distance, I never saw her again. I knew DP had seen her though, because he mentioned seeing her, and bizarrely told me that she had said her DH had gone away to work. Not sure why he even told me that. After that, nothing at all for months.

I have now met her husband while on a dog walk and things became a bit strange. Long story short, this guy knew our dog by name! He said his wife was always mentioning that she'd seen (our dog's name) while out and about walking their dog. I realised I recognised the dog and so realised who he was.

He seemed to make a point of saying this. But odd thing is that I hadn't seen this woman for months.

I didn't correct the guy. I didn't say that no we hadn't bumped into her. I just stayed silent. Now I'm wondering if he was fishing?

OP posts:
FishChipsMushyPeas · 01/04/2023 14:54

Maybe. Maybe not. Has your husband said or done anything to make you concerned since? If not then leave it in the past. You are right, it's up to him what happened when you weren't together

GingerPigz · 01/04/2023 15:00

Ooh... there was another post on here a while back that might be from the OW:

Is he interested www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4764439-is-he-interested

Either way, if you weren't together it doesn't matter... and if the other post is about your DP, he sounds like he has been a perfect gentleman about things...

Look forward, not backwards.

Mari9999 · 01/04/2023 16:19

OP, you are giving this way too much thought.

JorisBonson · 01/04/2023 16:51

GingerPigz · 01/04/2023 15:00

Ooh... there was another post on here a while back that might be from the OW:

Is he interested www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4764439-is-he-interested

Either way, if you weren't together it doesn't matter... and if the other post is about your DP, he sounds like he has been a perfect gentleman about things...

Look forward, not backwards.

I immediately thought about this, which makes me think this thread isn't real.

Alstothemarvshien · 01/04/2023 17:22

Yeah. If he said it to make a point then point made. If he said it to fish then he got no satisfaction. Then he might be more direct.

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