Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bad experiences with partner

16 replies

SecondMaid · 13/02/2008 16:33

I posted a while ago about my partner, I stayed with him and things were not too bad but occasionally the odd experience comes up and I don't know how to deal with it.

We've just come back from our first holiday, my kids were away with their dad so it was just me, DP and his son. We shared a room as it was cheaper and his son didn't mind.

Anyway on the first day there I left them alone in the room to go to the shop, when I came back to room was a complete tip, there were clothes all over the floor, sheets and blankets thrown everywhere, a mattress had been pulled off the bed and left on the floor, a dressing table knocked onto its side and there was chocolate sauce all up the wall. Turns out they had been wrestling which is fine, I dont oppose to people having fun but the mess was unbelievable.

I didn't make a huge deal of it, I just walked in and said "woah, it looks like a bomb has dropped in here!" and they were just laughing like mad. AnywayDP wanted us to go out for the day straight away but I said we should tidy up first, I was worried what the maids would think if they saw it like that. DP insisted that we leave straight away and it seemed pointless getting into a row over it so I agreed but left a "no maid service" thing on the door and we had a nice day out.

When we got back the room service sign was gone, I panicked thinking the maids must have been in but when we entered the room it was still a tip so I was relieved. Anyway a few minutes later the phone rang and it was the reception saying the manager wanted a word, we went down and he said he'd had a complaint from the maids that the room was in too much of a state for them to clean I told him I knew this and had purposely left a sign telling them to leave it and he said the maids had not mentioned a sign.

Anyway DP and his son were giggling throughout, I was hugely embarrassed so was a little defensive anyway so got a bit arsey with the manager but to cut a long story short(er) it turned out that DP had taken the sign off the door as we left purposely so that the maids would go in for a laugh.

I can't for the life of me think why he would do such a thing, he just said it thought it would be hilarious but how??

It spoilt the holiday in a way as the staff were funny with us from then on and I was so mortified when the manager asked us in front of other people to try and keep the room respectable.

I am currently studying psychology and can usually tell when people are trying to play mind games with me but I just cannot work DPs behaviour out. Could it be some kind of mind game or am I blowing it out of proportion?

OP posts:
chenin · 13/02/2008 16:40

Sorry.... but to me this isn't mind games, but pathetic juvenile behaviour and no sort of example to set his son! Is he often like this?

dittany · 13/02/2008 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cestlavie · 13/02/2008 16:44

It sounds pretty juvenile to me (obviously). Is he like this generally, or only when his son's around?

PurpleOne · 13/02/2008 17:12

Is he always ike this? I am at his downright childish, rude and pathetic behaviour.

If that was my dp and kid, I'd kick their arses big style. Hope you made them clear the mess up, while you watched?
TBH I'd have made a HUGE DEAL out of it.

warthog · 13/02/2008 17:45

i remember your previous thread. so things haven't got better... and i don't think they will.

SpiritualKnot · 13/02/2008 18:01

Why are you with this "man"? He sounds a bit simple to me. How old is his son?

SK

Buda · 13/02/2008 18:03

Completely juvenile. Could be that he wants to be 'mates' with his son as he doesn't see him all the time?

I would have been furious with him.

Notalone · 13/02/2008 18:52

He doesn't sound very mature. How old are he and his son?

TBH it sounds as if he is taking his "mischievous" side too far and is actually making you look foolish too. What are his good points? Why did he and his ex split up?

Shaniece · 13/02/2008 20:19

How childish of your DP and son . Poor maids, should they be expected to clean up shit like that???

Geri2 · 15/02/2008 09:08

Aww I would be soo mad too. tis good to have fun, but he needs to know where to draw the line.

MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 09:11

What odd behaviour for a grown man

Dropdeadfred · 15/02/2008 09:13

Get rid - he's a loser

OverMyDeadBody · 15/02/2008 09:15

He sounds like a childish immature boyman with no respect for himself or others. Why are you with him?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/02/2008 09:23

Not much of a DP is he, more like an immature manchild and his son will likely grow up to be the same with such a poor example of a Dad to follow.

I would also ask why you are with someone like this man. Are you of the mindset that with your love you can change him for the better?. Wrong on all counts. He is fortunate that the management have seemingly not billed you for the damage done to the room.

Your self esteem will take a huge battering at his hands by enabling him.

madamez · 15/02/2008 09:29

THere's something realy quite badly wrong with this man's behaviour, and it can't be doing his son any good either. Really destructive, deliberate messiness done by someone who seems to get a thrill out of 'rubbing people's noses in it' is different from ordinary slobbery. At the very least, it's bullying behaviour, designed to humiliate, but an adult who does the equivalent of fingerpainting with shit is mentally disturbed.

lemonstartree · 15/02/2008 09:37

Can I ask why you are with this man ? He sounds really awful and your instinct that his behavious is completely unacceptable is correct.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page