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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is ok to plan to leave partner months ahead.

27 replies

Honeybee7575 · 30/03/2023 19:31

I feel I need to leave my partner but know i cannot do it at the moment as I'm not emotionally strong enough due to other things I have to deal with.
He drinks so much but is still able to hold down a job (just). The thing is I don't want to leave him but know his drinking will affect me in the long term and I need to plan ahead so that I can deal with the separation emotionally. I feel bad that I am hiding this from him. There are other things too that just don't sit right with me and now I think I'd rather be on my own than end up feeling worthless.

OP posts:
category12 · 02/04/2023 13:22

Honeybee7575 · 01/04/2023 17:12

He knows he has issues with drink. We've discussed it and I have told him that only he can decide what he does with his life. However I did say that once it starts impacting on the relationship I won't be able to handle and that time is very close. I'm fed up with having conversations that he never remembers. I'm fed up now with feeling ashamed of his drinking. He wants to stay with me and plan a future but there really is no future as things like his job and health will be affected and while I just sit back and watch him drink our relationship away. I don't give up easily and I have a big heart but there's only so much you can take.

While you are sticking it out, please make sure your contraception is excellent and you are very very careful in that way.

You really don't want to bring children into this.

Baabaa75 · 02/04/2023 13:26

No don't feel guilty you're doing the right thing. My mum handled a similar situation by telling him too early and it didn't go well. If she could go back in time and plan it better it would have saved 30 years of hurt xx

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