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Original poster

Affectionate DP - perhaps too much. Has anyone dealt with this?

9 replies

Toeragh · 30/03/2023 16:45

We’ve been seeing each other for a year and be is very affectionate. Calls me darling, random kisses, looks after me, quite protective. He is a bit of a blokes bloke so it’s almost nicer as unexpected. I am starting to find it stifling though. Has anyone successfully worked through this? How did you approach?

OP posts:
TrombonesAreNotBones · 30/03/2023 16:48

You say affectionate, do you really mean pawing at you, trying to grope your boobs or squeeze your arse, doing that awful feathery stroking?

Original poster
Toeragh · 30/03/2023 16:57

Actually none of that. Just hugs and kisses

OP posts:
Original poster
Toeragh · 30/03/2023 19:23

It does feel a little stifling though

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 30/03/2023 19:31

I like my space so I might be biased, but ‘looks after me, quite protective’ combined with you feeling stifled does make think he might be controlling? Do you feel that?
Keep an eye on it if so.

Other than that you have to say that while you love him and love physical contact you don’t like it all day - and give him clear direction on what you do and don’t like. It’s mildly awkward, but if you can’t have these kind of chats, it’s not a runner. And if he reacts badly then you know to really keep an eye on any controlling tendencies.

AutisticLegoLover · 30/03/2023 19:50

Was your other thread not providing the answers you wanted? Why post 2 threads? You are obviously unhappy with the relationship so just end it. Listen to your gut. Two threads about the same issue of him being altogether too much. Life's too short to be unhappy a year in.

DP sometimes says he misses me 5 times a day www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4774506-dp-sometimes-says-he-misses-me-5-times-a-day

BarbedButterfly · 30/03/2023 19:53

Both me and partner are very very affectionate and I couldn't date someone who wasn't, but it sounds like this just isn't working for you

NessVan · 30/03/2023 19:57

AutisticLegoLover · 30/03/2023 19:50

Was your other thread not providing the answers you wanted? Why post 2 threads? You are obviously unhappy with the relationship so just end it. Listen to your gut. Two threads about the same issue of him being altogether too much. Life's too short to be unhappy a year in.

DP sometimes says he misses me 5 times a day www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4774506-dp-sometimes-says-he-misses-me-5-times-a-day

What's the purpose of this 🤔 seems a bit trolling. And from what I can read, it's two separate issues. God forbit someone post twice about separate worries for fear of being shamed not to post again.

Ofcourseshecan · 31/03/2023 11:02

I would love this. I love this with DH. Is the problem that it feels unfamiliar to you? If it’s that, or you worry that others would think it excessive, maybe wait and see if it grows on you. Or it may ease off after the honeymoon phase. But if you don’t like it, and it feels too much for you, you should both move on and find someone more compatible.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 31/03/2023 16:56

My DH is incredibly affectionate. He always has been. Only since having kids do I find it a bit stifling at times so then I just say so and he backs off. We joke that he’s like a dog and I’m like a cat…
Seriously though. Just say if it’s too much.

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