Ended a 2 year relationship and it really hurts

[Sugaspunsista]

I have anxiety issues in my relationship. It's a LDR and there was an age gap ( me being the older).
We have almost broken up multiple times because he is terrible at answering texts and calling back. Things had improved for a while and we had a great weekend.
Yesterday was my first day of my period...I do tend to go a bit haywire but that's not an excuse.
I messaged him on Tuesday and didn't get a reply... messaged him yesterday and got a reply hours later claiming nothing was wrong etc but not explaining why he had ignored me since the weekend. He said he would call and didn't. He didn't answer when I tried.
I sent him a text saying I couldn't deal with this and was very sad that it sad over. I knew he read this but he hasn't responded. Why would he? He's heard it all before. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I can't stop myself re reading old messages and my heart is broken

I think you just need more contact than he does. If I spoke to someone at the weekend I probably wouldn't feel the need to again until Wednesday or Thursday.

It's not like you were worried about him as you know that's his communication style. Personally if i were him I'd probably think you were majorly insecure and didn't trust me. And it would irritate me to have to reply to you every time, else you'll go off on one about my poor texting habits again. Like, I just saw you two days ago...do we have to live in eachothers pockets?

BUT maybe he is up to something. Maybe you have an incline. And that's why him not replying well, makes you anxious.

Either way, at best, your communication styles are different. You should not stay in a relationship where you keep having the same argument. It's not really much of a relationship anyway if it's long distance and the communication is spotty. So you've probably done the right thing.

In a LDR its not going to work unless there's communication in-between. Otherwise what actually is it? Just a regularly scheduled holiday romance? Long distance dating? Also irrespective of contact patterns, ignoring a partners texts for days when you don't see each other is just rude. It's not needy to expect to speak more than once a week ffs.

I think you've made the right choice, and I think you know it too as hard as jt is....this isnt about you being Insecure.

@Pinkbonbon That doesn't work for most people in a committed relationship.

That wouldn’t work for me at all. I like more contact. My OH is an hour away and we can’t see each other in the week. We chat on the phone many nights a week and always swap at least one text a day. I think you need to split up properly and move one. Block him, delete old messages, listen to angry music or podcasts and heal. Then find a better one 😂

Try to move on OP. I know it hurts but a LDR is hard enough without communication issues. I am also in an LDR and would not be able to handle it without consistent communication. Im sorry it hurts but you deserve to be a priority, not an afterthought.

Sure it does. See them the weekend, go home. Quick phone chat mid week. Few texts at some point maybe. See them again on the weekend.

Easy. No having to check your phone every five minutes and panic that they haven't replied to the text you sent an hour ago.

People make their own stress by over contacting. Then they end up freaking out when other people aren't as glued to their phones as they are.

Of course there are exteemes of both ends. I couldn't date someone who needed to message every day. But there's plenty of people who couldn't date someone that didn't want to message every day. You have to be prepared to be a little flexible but not to the point where it annoys you. There's only so much give.

Op and her partner can't seem to reach middle ground where they are both comfortable. I'm sure both could have committed relationships. They just maybe are not the one for each another.

Thanks everyone.
I know we have very different communication styles.
He called me...I dont think we are going to get back together but I feel better knowing he didn't just ignore me.

It's sad but if there was no end soon in sight for the long distance aspect then I would try to draw a line under this, do your grieving and move on rather than hope to get back together (obviously I make that sound like such an easy process, I know it isn't!). Yes we all need different levels of contact but it doesn't seem like you've been able to find a compromise over 2 years and I wouldn't expect that to comfortably happen now. Don't torture yourself imagining that he was up to all sorts. There's nothing to be gained and you've no reason to think it was that more than just that the communication wasn't right. Do you have people to talk to, friends etc? They are invaluable at this early stage.

Thank you.
Yes i have friends. I will be okay.

I did finally talk to him again and he is very depressed. He's cutting all contact now.