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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Changing schools

7 replies

Tranquilaroma · 29/03/2023 21:14

My children (12 and 13) and I moved home late last summer (same county but further from their secondary school)

They have settled well and are involved in local communities and activities during the week. However, their school is now taking us a 45 minute drive and then a 45 minute school bus journey one way for them. Both have expressed that they would like to look at the local schools as they are tired of the long journeys and have made friends in the area.

Their father who has them every other weekend and has done so for the past 10 years, firmly refuses to allow them to move schools. He moved out the area we were living in a few years ago and is about 45 minute drive from the current school. His partner does one journey Monday morning every other week to the school.

Im wondering what my options are here? I hear the children saying would like to look at schools that their friends they are making are going to and also the journey is getting tiring for them.

OP posts:

PritiPatelsMaker · 29/03/2023 22:10

I really don't know where you stand legally on this one @Tranquilaroma

I'd ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Relationship Board. You'll get some experienced MNers in there

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 29/03/2023 22:25

We've moved this thread over to relationships now.

Moser85 · 29/03/2023 22:38

Is there any good reason he wants them to stay where they are or is he just trying to be difficult/controlling?

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/family-law/divorce/what-to-do-when-parents-disagree-schools/#:~:text=If%20both%20parents%20cannot%20agree,the%20help%20of%20experienced%20mediators

I would imagine that if it went to court that at 12 and 13 your childrens wishes would be taken into account, although obviously I'm sure you want to avoid court if possible.

Parental Disagreement Over Schools | Slater + Gordon

When you're separated, the choice of school your children attend can be a major point. We look at the problems and solutions when parents disagree over schools.

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/family-law/divorce/what-to-do-when-parents-disagree-schools#:~:text=If%20both%20parents%20cannot%20agree,the%20help%20of%20experienced%20mediators

Moser85 · 29/03/2023 22:40

There's some extra information on how to handle it here. https://www.stephens-scown.co.uk/family/changing-schools-when-parents-dont-agree/

Changing schools when parents don’t agree - Stephens Scown

What should you do if you believe that your child’s school is going to be changed by the other parent? What is the resolution?

https://www.stephens-scown.co.uk/family/changing-schools-when-parents-dont-agree

Original poster

Tranquilaroma · 30/03/2023 06:42

Thank you @Moser85

The only reasons I have got from him regarding the school is that their current school is a really good school and they do that one way school journey.

I did say if they drove 45 minutes on the alternate Monday mornings towards my direction I will meet and collect the children so nothing will change with their arrangements on a Monday morning regarding having the children the Sunday evening and driving them towards school.

OP posts:

supercali77 · 30/03/2023 06:52

I think since you're the main parent and they reside with you, you've a very good case for moving their school. He has to drop them 2 mornings a month if I've read your OP correctly. While you drop and pick them up 28 mornings and afternoons. Id put in for the specific order linked above if thats still current and make your case.

Moser85 · 30/03/2023 06:55

One of the links says they won't consider the order unless you've attempted mediation first.....but if you ask him to go and he doesn't (and you keep a record of it) then surely that would be enough.

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