Is this coercive control and would social services get involved if it was reported ?

[MarsJupiterMoon]

-monitoring location all the time
-calls and texts constantly
-not allowed to go out anymore to see certain friends
-possibly controlling finances (from what I’ve overheard but not 100% sure)
-dropped hours at work at insistence of partner

Basically my best friend from uni is possibly in an abusive marriage ? I’m not sure but I’m worried about all of the above. We used to text a lot and meet up loads and it’s all stopped. Texts I send are replied to with one word response or not at all.

Before this he had confided in me about the issues within his marriage (never physical violence) but just extremely controlling behaviour from his wife. I’ve met her many times she seems nice enough on the surface, quiet, like she’s observing everyone if that makes sense.

I feel like he needs help but they have 2 young children - if this was reported would there be issues with social services as I don’t want to cause harm to him or his children

I think it is coercive control, but I don't think reporting it to the police will be helpful. It's very likely the police would do nothing, or if they did investigate it would rely on your friend being truthful and honest and admitting abuse if it went anywhere.

Reporting may put your friend at more risk- e.g. intensify the control or lead to physical violence.

If you want to help him, the important thing to do is to try to keep lines of communication open and offer help and support if needed. Maybe talk to him about how certain things aren't normal, that he has a right to do certain things. If you can, if he ever wants to leave, offer him a place to stay, at least short term (particularly if things escalate).

What do you want to achieve by reporting it to the police?

@overitall100 I’m sorry to hear what your brother is going through. It’s so difficult watching them slowly change and try convince you and themselves that this is what they want.
My friend has a child from another relationship who he sees two times a week as his partner does not like him staying for too long. My friend knows this isn’t fair but he has two children with her that he doesn’t want to risk losing as he knows if they break up she would try do everything to stop him.

We have been cut out his life completely, other friends are there to support him but he isn’t allowed to see us and it really does hurt. Every now and then if she’s gone out for the night he will message me or my dh to check in but then he asks us to keep the messages quiet and apologises for having to block us again.

Our friends keep giving him mens charities and numbers for domestic abuse. One friend has said he will call the police as it’s going too far.

@

@Hiddenvoice It really is hard to see.
I feel very sorry for the child of your friend having their time with their dad limited. That's very sad.
I'd really like to know where all this controlling stems from? It's such a horrible way to spend a life. I am not sure in our case whether this woman even knows the harm she is doing. She just seems very clever at manipulating and getting her own way. She stalked my social media for a long time (I could see her appear in watched videos etc) and then would pretend she hadn't seen them. Never commented or anything but was always the first person to view them. With people like this it is hard to ever reach a happy conclusion as they just aren't honest with themselves let alone anyone else.
It's really good that your friend messages you when he can. Shows he wants to be in touch. Hopefully you can build on that and then when the kids are older he can get himself out of it.