He cheated but I'm still wishing he would come back.

[curlychocs]

Last summer I found out my husband had been texting another woman. He then told me he didnt love me. He agreed to go for counselling and has insisted nothing happened except texts. For 6 months we did counselling and I changed a lot of things and he did stay around. Then 4 weeks ago he said he didn't love me again and I asked him to leave. Again he denied an affair. But I now have evidence there was an affair and that he lied.

So why am I so upset and desperately hoping that he will change his mind and come back? I'm a strong person with a good career and 2 lovely kids. This is his second marriage and he did the same to his first wife, so I know he has issues, but I'm still thinking that if I change he will want me back and dump the woman who is 13 years younger!! Any words of advice or positive stories of people who have been through this?

He's an SB - serial bastard. You have had a lucky escape. Were you the OW?

You’re hoping he will come back and say its all been a terrible mistake! When my exH had an affair, despite some terrible things he had done and said I hoped he would “see the light” and do this - he didnt. It was a really difficult time. We had been married 14 years and I’d been with him since 17.

However, I know I wasnt happy and now I think thank goodness for the OW! Life has been so much better since….

it’s really hard, you just have to take it one day at a time. It does get better.

He’s a serial cheat. Why on earth would you want him back? You knew he was capable of this and he’s proven that he is not a safe partner. He will only cheat again.

It’s hard I get it, but you need to move on. Life with this man will be miserable.

How did you get into a better mindset? What did you do to get to a better point in your life?

Did he leave his first wife for you?

No

Chump lady website

You feel like you want him back because he's damaged your self-esteem. He's made you feel unattractive and worthless as he's gone off with someone else, who also happens to be a lot younger. So you think that if he comes back, it means you were good enough. But the truth is, the only worthless one here is HIM. And the only one not good enough is HIM.

You're worth so much more than this. He's got form. He cheated on his ex. He cheated on you. And he'll keep doing it over and over again to you or to future partners.

See this as a blessing in disguise and cut the cord. Focus on yourself. Even if he does come running back, you know deep down that he can't be trusted.

Cut him off completely (assuming you don't have kids together) and move on with your life. Life is too short (and also too long) to be living like this. In 12 months time you'll look back and see the huge weight that has been lifted off your shoulders.

His not the only guy, and certainly not the best one for you. There are millions and millions of guys out there, you can easily find someone better.

Stop being a doormat!