Giving up with OLD

[Bittermoi]

I've been on and off OLD for the past few years and I'm on the verge of giving up!
Its been terrible lately, the last handful of matches that I started a good conversation with just....disappeared, deleted accounts, it seemed to be one after the other so not sure what's going on there.
Most of the time the men I do have a chat with becomes pretty short lived as they can't seem to ask me any questions to keep a conversation going, I feel like I am always the one making the effort.

The only problem is I am sort of relying on OLD to meet someone as I don't really get out much, I don't have any friends so don't have a social life.
I am also quite busy with a full time job, which is very full on and obviously doing every day things for daily life on my own can be time consuming and energy draining. My kids are older teenagers so that doesn't really hold me back anymore.

I've tried looking for club/groups but this isn't as easy as it seems, on meetup it's usually things that are in working hours, local fb groups are meeting up for drinking which I am not interested in, other things require regular financial commitments I can't always do.
I did get a dog a few years ago partly in the hope I would get out more and potentially meet people, but that also hasn't brought any friendships into fruition.
I joined a gym last year, but it just became a chore to go, after a long day it was the last thing I wanted to do

I'm losing hope as been single for a long time now to the point people are now starting to comment that I need to meet someone. Sometimes life just seems unfair, I am not looking forward to another summer alone.
Don't really know what I'm asking really just feeling low

Am very sorry to hear you're sad. I am not sure of your age but it can be hard meeting a potential partner as you grow older. I met my bf at a party he was the friend of the host.
I love in an area where there are lots of expats. I am always quite amazed at how they arrive in a country knowing no one but build up a group of friends in a year or so and quickly have partners. So my advice is;

1. Do something that becomes a talking point and makes you interesting and your life busier- a roller blading class, a life drawing class, a language course. Try singing in a choir or volunteer.

1. To meet men take up either mixed or male geared activities such as golf, running, photography. Go to a wine tasting at a local wine shop.

I know that you feel tired but you do have to make a change to bring about change

Good luck

Thanks for the lovely comment @Livelifelaughter it is hard, I am 40 and really didn't think I would still be on my own at this age.
I know the solution is getting out more, and making an effort to change.....I'm trying to stay positive and motivated

I think if people are commenting that you need to meet someone you need to tell them to back off! What business is it of theirs? You might be happier single for all they know. I find it pretty rude when people do that. What makes being in a partnership necessarily better? People have strange outdated views on this kind of thing. Don't go searching for someone because others think you need to. And do set them straight when they say it!

I gave up OLD because it's awful. Much happier being single. If it happens sometime, it happens! That would be good but I'd rather this than doing the awful OLD. And other people should keep their opinions to themselves.

Walking group? Volunteer for ParkRun?

Why do you want a relationship? I think lots of people see it as the answer to all their problems, but really think about what you might get out of a relationship that you couldn't get anywhere else. For example - Friendship, company, sex? The first two you can get from any one, the last you can also just without any emotion.

I think people comment when they see me struggling, life can be stressful and I don't really have any downtime, they just want me to be happy, especially after having such a rough breakup with my ex/children's dad then subsequently being on my own for so long after.

I think I want a relationship for the companionship mainly

If you don't have downtime, when are you going to fit in dating?

If you have time to date, you have time to fix up your social life.
focus on that.

We people say "it's time you meet someone" say "I agree. Please introduce me to your single, attractive, intelligent, funny, solvent, honest, caring, fun friend and I'll get together with him."

I've yet to have someone even know of a man like that, let alone be able to introduce me. Tends to shut them up pretty quickly.

My advice might be a bit controversial but I say either go younger or older, Older would probably be suited better if you're after a LTR although I risked lower and am In a committed relationship nearly a year , after 2 years of the sane OLD experiences. I changed my search criteria and hit the jackpot. I'm 34 and he's 27.

I'd also advise not to give up, and put the effort into groups etc , say yes to more things regardless of how daunting it may seem. And accept that for every 100 matches you might only get one decent conversation...hope this helped!

A male friend of mine, who is in a good job, attractive and generous said basically said only 10 per cent of men on OLD are attractive and successful and hence have 90 per cent of the women chasing them - so that's what you're dealing with. I also think OLD gives an expectation for this 10 per cent that if you don't invest in a relationship it doesn't really matter because another will pop up.
He was surprised how many nice, attractive women are on OLD compared to men...