urgent advise needed now before I f*ck things up

[ca7439]

Hi
My dh has recently told me he got back in touch with an old girlfriend thru friendsreunited.
I was suspicious if he has been writing to her - yes paranoid I know.
Anyway, I logged into his friends reunited and saw he wrote to her and asked to email thru a different email address to his usual one. I tried to log in to the new one and did it and found all these messages from 2 other girls from some adult friend finder website.
Looks like just chat - not sexual but there are some about meeting for lunch?? Not sure if it's just friendly chat or a serious invitation.
Anyway this has been going on for the last 3 months from what I can see.
My instinct is to go and confront him about it but then will show I have been prying into his things?
I wouldn#t really mind so much, but we are supposed to be moving house this week to start a new life after a series of crap stuff - new town, new life, new job etc...
I feel really hurt becuase I thought we were supposed to be happy together - talking about having nother baby etc...
So why is he doing this?
Even if I don't confront him about it how will I stop myself from blurting it out later?

Just looked some more and am really upset now
the pics he has been sending these girls are of him on our wedding day but only half the pic,the bit with me is missing

i'm sorry you found this..it doesn't sound good

you do need to have a talk with him and try and sort things out

I know i would have to tell him. He is hiding this and so it is worrying ime.
You are obviously not happy with this and surely in a healthy relationship you should be able to tell him. If it really is nothing you will be able to laugh about it.

I do think men dont always understand why we feel so insecure but then when you read what goes not here it is no surprise.

Good luck

it is a case of wanting reassurance from him..he may get defensive and narky

you might get accusatory and upset

ideally find a way of getting yourself in a good position in your head to prevent that scenario

I take it the thing that is worrying you is that he kept all of this from you, rather than the fact that he got in touch with them?

fwiw I don't think this means he is not happy about you or happy with you in your relationship. As you said the emails are just chat rather than anything sinister. You need to talk to him, but stay calm and non-accusatory, he's more likely to listen and respect what you say if you do it in a calm non-angry way.

In my opinion he hasn't actually done anything wrong (that you are aware of now), I think it's a good sign if someone can be friends with their exes, but obviously you are hurt that he didn't tell you and that the photo was without you.

He may have hidden it from you because he knows you can be paranoid or insecure or whatever, and in his mind it wasn't worth the possible hassle he would get if he had told you. Sorry I'm just trying to see this from his point of view, not justifying it. The fact that he didn't tell you doesn't mean he is doing anything that he shouldn't be doing like cheating on you.