Is electricity/chemistry one-sided?

[Sleepyandconfused]

Having a disagreement with a friend about this! But I have been reading about it online and (although my sources weren’t very reliable at all), was surprised to see the general consensus being that when you feel ‘electricity’ between yourself and another person, that they can feel it too. (Which was my friend’s claim.)

I even read a couple of articles attempting to state that it’s impossible for the feeling to be one sided, for some ‘scientific’ reasons that didn’t really make much sense (either because it’s nonsense or because I’m too stupid to understand. Either very possible.)

I don’t mean someone that you’re in a loving relationship with, of course. I mean when there’s a person (a colleague, for example, or someone you see often but don’t know well) who you can feel a physical connection with/energy towards when they are near. Like there’s something invisible and electric connecting the two of you.

What do you think?

Also want to stress, I don’t mean someone you have a flirty relationship with, even. Just someone who you meet and you suddenly feel a certain way around them, even without speaking. Like a butterflies/electric kind of thing whenever they’re around that feels so strong that it does, admittedly, feel as though they must feel it too. But I don’t think that they do but my friend argues that they do.

well obviously that is not true, why are you even asking? What happens in one person is independent of what happens in another

I think it’s a case of wishful thinking. Attraction will sometimes be one sided, sometimes reciprocated.

I don’t see how anyone can possibly know, unless the people involved eventually start a relationship and start confessing to moments of attraction much earlier on…?

an awful lot of stalking behaviour stems from the illusion that the other person feels the same as you

I think that if you're speaking to someone and feel that spark then they're usually feeling it too. But if you are literally just looking at them then I don't think they'd be aware. I have no scientific basis for this opinion.

I have clearly stated in my OP why I’m asking - did you miss that part? It’s the very first line 😂😂

Right! This is how I feel too - that it’s just unlikely, but like you, I have no actual science to back this up. My friend (and Google, apparently) seems to disagree though!

Forgive me because this is not my area and I've only read a tiny, basic bit of info about it...

Have a look at the major histocompatibility complex. It's basically nature's way of combining the best 'types' of immune systems to give offspring the best chance of survival against disease. I think scientists believe that's what we call chemistry. I know there have been studies in fish and pandas focused on mate selection by females of suitable male mates based on it. Something about why female pandas don't fancy the males and aren't mating with them.. Not sure about how it works for males, I'm sure there's info on it out there. I wonder if there's physical attraction and chemical attraction. There's also delusion in the case of stalkers but maybe there's something chemical there too!

Forgive my grammar - I kept adding words in there and it got messy. Have angry 2 year old climbing all over me

It can be one sided because of limerence, crushes, stalkers, rejections. Sometimes people are oblivious or simply flattered or made to feel self conscious by your attention and it can be mistaken for chemistry.
Actions not words!

Wow! That’s really interesting! I’ll read up on it. Thanks!

This actually happened to me once with a colleague and when we eventually got together he was completely oblivious. Me on the other hand, I forgot how to walk when he was nearby! It was the most intense feeling of limerence I ever had, we were both single, and I was 100% convinced he HAD to be feeling the electricity between us too. Nope! He didn't feel a thing and it hadn't even entered his mind that I would ever be interested in him . (At least until a Christmas night out 6 months later when I got drunk enough to confess lol).

Surely calling it 'electricity' is what you do it it's both ways? Otherwise it's just fancying someone who doesn't fancy you, which is a very common scenario?

@ktitten did he end up reciprocating the feelings when you got together? And if yes did you stay interested or did his confession break the spell so to speak?

It was a wee while ago now but when I confessed to fancying him he was quite shocked but we ended up going home together and dated for about two months. It was at some point during that time I admitted I'd had a massive crush on him for ages and he said he'd had absolutely no idea and it hadn't even crossed his mind really, so he was definitely not feeling what I was feeling before that night out.

I think actually knowing him broke the spell on my part and he was VERY overly-keen which put me off more and more, and eventually I ended it. Which is weird because if you'd told me when I was in the throws of limerence that one day he'd be very keen on me I think I would have fainted in delight.

Brain chemistry is WEIRD .

I've only experience a really physical electrical connection once. It started the moment the boy walked into the room, I hadn't even seen him at this point, I was seated facing the front. All through the session I was physically aware of this person without even having made eye contact.
When we did finally look at each other we both went bright red. Several friends commented on the attraction between us.
I know he felt it to because we met at couple of weeks later and his friend said 'is this the girl then?'. We dated for a bit but he connection disappeared fairly fast.

Not in every instance but yes for some. I've had some people make me flustered but I've clearly had no effect on them at all. I've also had that first sight thunder bolt in your stomach, eye glances and chemistry, flutters, mutual blushing and obvious attraction between a few people.

It's not always reciprocated but when it is it's electric.