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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you deal with a Drama Llama?

32 replies

SoundsLikeALlama · 27/03/2023 13:54

It has only recently dawned on me that dp is a drama llama. I normally don't get involved in any of his personal life but lately, I am seeing more and more situations get completely out of hand, seemingly requiring him to be permanently on the phone with family/friends etc. Most of these situations, in my mind, are situations that could have been resolved simply and easily if everyone was honest and upfront with each other.

he's also just resigned from work - having been accused of something he definitely didn't do that was made up. He asked for my advice (I am a senior exec in a company), I gave it to him, he chose not to follow it and is now embroiled in a ridiculous dispute with them which is meaning he has endless calls with his co workers bitching and moaning about the situation rather than actually doing something to end it, most likely in his favour.

His whole family are like this too. I have no idea where they find the energy for it. I will continue to not get involved but if you have ever had a drama llama in your life, did it ever get better? Or am I destined to be stuck with this unless I choose not to be!

OP posts:
SoundsLikeALlama · 02/04/2023 11:15

He is self aware and no I haven't completely spelled it out. Tbh I've only just realised he's like this. No kids together - we're both older (adult kids). I am going to speak to him today. Everything else great together so I'm quite willing to see if we can work it out.

He has more than one job so losing one not the end of the world.

I genuinely feel sorry for people whose families are like this. Well done @Spanisheomellletttes for recognising the situation and doing something about it!

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 02/04/2023 11:35

Zuffe · 01/04/2023 09:49

Haven’t read the full thread, but I normally bow, fold my hands together and say ‘Hello your Holiness’.

😁😁😁😁

FWIW, I met the Dalai Lama once. He was very charming and funny, and very peaceful.

Ooonafoo · 02/04/2023 14:26

Wow this flouncy behaviour in a older person sounds reckless and unattractive.

I hope you haven’t tied up any money or future life plans with this type of character.

What’s his relationship history?

How does it feel when he seeks your advice and then goes on to ignore it?

feelingfree17 · 02/04/2023 17:02

Utterly exhausting. He is probably addicted to drama, and like moth to a flame their negative energy will always find something to drama about. Just when you think, thank goodness that is over, something else will take its place, and off you go again.
Get rid.

CurlewKate · 03/04/2023 08:42

@Zuffe 🤣 I thought that was just me!

Zuffe · 03/04/2023 09:09

I haven’t met the Dalai Lama really, but I have met Al Paca.

pickledandpuzzled · 03/04/2023 09:34

They recreate an environment that is familiar to them.
They may need attention rather than seek attention, if you see what I mean.
They need to be reassured that they are important, significant, that people care etc.

If he wants to learn how to be different, then great. Otherwise it's not a great dynamic to be trapped by, once you recognise it.

It's like noticing someone's verbal tic. It becomes distracting.

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