I'm hoping maybe theres some people here who can offer some advice.
I am married and have one little one. My husband and I have had issues for years. This has been worse in the last few years as we started living with his parents. Also not helped by the fact I have suffered from PTSD after the birth of my little one. There's a long story and I could use insight for it all, but for now I need help with managing emotions. When we argue, well when I try to raise an issue and he starts explaining his side only to say things that make me less important, blame me, make me the problem or mock me, I end up raising my voice, crying and overall getting emotional and no matter how I try to reword anything from my side, he just dismisses everything, which upsets me more and then he starts making unkind comments like I should ring my parents and tell them they'd be proud of me or that I'm mentally crazy. I am trying so hard not to get emotional or to shout as I don't want my little one to see it, (though my husband believes I enjoy it, thrive on it and want little one to see it) I hate it, I hate the fact after an argument my little one will walk up to me and hug me and say it's ok mummy....kids shouldn't have to do that. It breaks my heart. I always say I'm sorry to my little one, but it doesn't change the fact they are seeing it.
I see a psychologist to help, but it's always a case of dealing with our problems and not being able to help myself.
I have tried talking, shouting, cold shouldering (which eats me up inside) nothing works.
For my emotions, I have tried breathing and being aware, but I find my emotions peak in nanoseconds and before I know it I'm an emotional mess.
I feel so unheard, unrestricted, unloved and very much alone.
Has anyone else suffered from this with their emotions? How do you remain calm when theres always stress and upset?