Old what on earth do you say in a first message?

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new to old, this is bumble and I matched with someone and now I have to message them. Help!

Hi, Thanks for matching me and then ask a follow up about something in his profile

Ok, that’s sounds doable, I think I am in panic mode

Hi there I'm thispost. How are you? I hope you are having a nice weekend.

If you look at someone's profile, and can't think of anything to say, don't say anything. You're meant to be you, not 'a person who says the right thing'.

The right person's profile will offer you subjects that they're interested in that you will be curious to ask them questions about, or experiences you have in common that you will have things to say about. If a look at their profile leaves you in complete silence, don't date them. Unless you want to date someone who is only interested in things you're not interested in talking about.

Personally I would have ignored this, and specifically wrote on my profile that I didn't respond to messages that didn't demonstrate an interest in what I'd said on my profile. If someone can't make an effort to talk to me as an individual, rather than sending a message they could copy and paste to everyone on the site, I can't be bothered with them.

People like to be engaged with.

This is why I liked Hinge and its conversation starters. My first message to now DH was 'English' in answer to a question he'd posed.

Agree 'how's your weekend?' is a bit dull. Is there anything in his profile you can pick up on to ask about? 'How long have you been into surfing?' or 'Is that Berlin in your picture? Is it as cool as people say?' or whatever fits.

Personally I would never start a chat, I wait for him to make first contact. I understand that bumble is different, making the first move doesn’t appeal so I don’t use that dating site. Openers that I hate include ‘you fancy chatting’, any remark about appearance (they usually mention 👄), any crap joke based on my profile. Maybe I’m boring but I quite like a polite introduction and and an enquiry about how I am.

But this is Bumble, she HAS to message first, that’s the usp of the site.

If there's not much from his profile that you can comment on, and lots of them say very little, I say something like "Morning 'MrSmith 50 from London' seems we've matched, good to meet you, how's your 'Sunday' going so far?" It usually works for me.

Don't stress it, just be you!

Thank you all!

On bumble back in my dating days I would literally say something like.. 'oh, hey'. And then let them come to me. Never ever had anyone not answer so don't worry too much about asking them something super interesting.

But you might have missed out on some super interesting people. It's not about how many people respond, or whether you get an answer.

Interesting people show an interest in things. If all someone can do is read your profile and then say 'hi', it doesn't speak well of them. It shows that they can't be bothered to compose a response.

Obviously we all like different sorts of people, but 'hey' on its own will filter out a whole bunch of people who love to have interesting conversations.

'Hey there xx how's your Sunday going so far?'