Me and my husband aren't getting on and although I do still love him I just feel exhausted by it all. We haven't had sex in ages - so long that I cannot remember why, or whose fault it was.
But I have been trying (through individual counselling and have been talking about relationship counselling) to salvage something from this mess.
I think he resents my close relationship with our children and maybe I have shifted my affection to them as there has been little forthcoming from him.
I've been trying, very consciously, to be affectionate and supportive around him and we have had some enjoyable times together recently. The rows are stopping but I can't help but feel I'm doing all of the work.
He asked me what was wrong this evening because I was quiet, but he wasn't interested in my response - that he didn't seem excited to see me at all these days.
I have done lots of forgiving: his temper, the time he hit me and I told him it was over forever, and I just want something back in return. I dare say he would say he's found me difficult to live with. But I think my low moods have been a result of his coldness towards me.
I can't help but think that him guiding us towards relationship counselling is his way of ending things, ending up with me given at least part of the blame.
I'm a regular poster but wanted to write all of this down and see how I feel about it in black and white.
Is it always worth trying? And do you know when it is truly over, in a kind of whimpering way, rather than a crash bang kind of way?