Both of us divorced, I have three children age 9, 11 and 13, he has two age 14 and 17. We have been together for almost six years, met his two when they were 9 and 11. This relationship is for both of us, a very big love, someone who we are extremely grateful to have met and are good together.The problem is our lives...When we met our non-child weekends were on the same weekend and we continued with this, introducing our children to each other slowly. My children took to it easily, being younger I know. His children were resistant from the beginning, as they have been with his other relationships since divorce, as (we worked out together) that he remained too close to his ex after the divorce. The theory being that it was good for the children but in reality it created an fake family unit that existed in isolation. There was no room in that unit to welcome a partner on either side. The children don't want me around for family occasions like their birthdays, Christmas they spend with their mum etc as the four of them used to do this togethe, even for the first few years of our relationship, which was hard! Mostly the eldest one now but if I spend to much time in their home they say things like "why does she always have to be here" with a general feeling that I am taking their time with their dad away.We have tried to work our lives as best as possible given what we have, and I accept what it is, but I do find it very sad and hurtful. Our fortnights run like this: Non child weekend together, usually my house. Monday together my house my children. Tues separate houses separate children Wed his house his children. Thursday together my house my children.Child weekend separate houses separate children.Monday and Tues together my house my children. Wed his house his children. Thursday together my house my children.The extra Tuesday was added in to make up for me being there every Wednesday, which was when I'm supposed to get to know them.We have had many discussions about this over the years on how to be able to join lives. Sharing a home is very important to me, more so than for him but the blocker is that he feels he is going to loose his daughters (or at least one) if we swap weekends or move in together. It has now got to the point where we are very close, but it feels really strange/uncomfortable that his home and family life exists almost completely without me. It feels disproportionate to our relationship if that makes sense. So you guessed it...I get upset. And upset, and upset. What are your thoughts? I don't feel I've had a fair chance at creating a relationship with his children, but also accept they just might not choose too. But I see then once a week? AIBU for getting upset about this? Any advice? I don't see us ever being able to live together like this.