My husband charged at me tonight in front of children

[yellowsong]

We have a sick baby who's been keeping me up all night and in hospital today. The baby has been crying uncontrollably and it's hard to take.

In any case, my husband and I have also been fighting today.

I was up all last night with the baby and then all day at the hospital and husband went out last night, got in at 2 and had to get up again at 6. It's been a day / night which has been far from ideal..

Anyway things really escalated when the baby was crying and my husband properly charged at me. Screaming in my face. Of course I told him I would kill him if he touched me. I was pretty shocked though, he's never done that before.

What the hell op?
Why is he going out while your baby is in hospital? Is there somewhere you can go?

Hi Op
Have you got any family who could support you more , to give you break then?

Have you any help from his support family with your child too?

It's bonkers he is like that,

😫

Are you safe & baby safe OP?

Are you ok? Go and stay somewhere safe. X

Oh the baby wasn't in hospital when he went out. Baby got sick while he was out and then I went to hospital in the morning.

If baby got sick he should have come home then if only to look after other children if you have them you are making excuses for him dont he sounds a selfish basket

What the heck? Has been drinking tonight? No excuse I know but just asking.

I’m sure you’re shocked! How is he now?
Has he apologised?

Hope you and the kids are ok, this is not acceptable behaviour.

He hasn't apologised. Only cuddled the kids and went to bed.

No he's not been drinking. I think it's the crying baby, no sleep and arguing today and then arguing tonight that caused him to charge at me. He didn't hit me, but he was so angry.

Probably stress alright but so not acceptable. Glad he managed to stop before he did anything physical. However, it must have been very intimidating and, for want of a better word, scary.

No point discussing it now, wait til morning. Ye really need to talk about this and you need to set boundaries going forward. Let him know you will not accept this behaviour, regardless of what arguments you have had throughout the day, tiredness, stress etc.
I hope ye can sort this, he needs to know this won’t be tolerated. He also needs to apologise!

So sorry @yellowsong , but is there anyone you can stay with? Ideally he would be the one to go but after his previous behaviour you might not feel comfortable asking him to stay elsewhere.

It probably isn't what you want to hear but I don't think I could feel safe (or feel that my baby was safe) around someone that behaved that way.

One thing I urge you to do is tell someone in real life and tell them now. Stuff like this should never be hidden or minimised.

It does not have to be someone you're close to if you don't feel you have someone like that currently. It can be by text if you find the idea of speaking on the phone difficult. Don't put if off due to worries about the time of night or worries about making a fuss. The sooner you tell the better.

He charged at you? He’s dangerous isn’t he, horrible intimidating behaviour even if he didn’t actually touch you. Poor you and baby!

Was he out until 2 this morning at work or at work?

Or out drinking?

He was out. He never usually goes out though. I only mentioned it to reflect the fact that we both didn't have much sleep at all. Then we argued in the day. Then we were both trying to get an early night but the baby was inconsolable.

He then retreated because he needed to work today and I got angry about the fact that yet again, it's me, alone, dealing with everything. It wasn't even late at this point, but he wanted to sleep early. When I made it known that I was frustrated because he retreated, he lost it.

Read your messages again. You are excusing and minimising this. He attacked you.

Please re read there is no excuses here that's is red flag.
Please stay safe.

Many of us have been there with a crying baby and it’s tough. That doesn’t excuse his behaviour. Please be careful, if he’s capable of that, what else is he capable of?