Is it me?

[Gallathea]

When someone has spent years deliberately undermining you, making nasty, bitchy comments out of the earshot of others and you know to expect that behaviour, is it weird to continue to find it deeply upsetting?

I'm trying to work out whether I'm making this worse for myself due to a failure to move on or something. Context is that I'm at an event with a relative who does this and wondering if actually I'm just overreacting or going a bit mad or unreasonably sensitive or...something.
It's stressful because I'm on edge always expecting the next thing but maybe that's just me, maybe I've got hung up on something I perceive and am creating unpleasantness in my head when there isn't any?

It's like each time doesn't stand alone but brings up the memories and feelings of every other occasion and I wonder if I need counselling to break this cycle?

It's difficult because on the surface they'll be nice which makes it hard to call out and it often feels like a power play? But perhaps I'm just insecure or maybe I'm passing them off or being inadvertently rude and not realising it?

You are entitled to your feelings. lf you feel that this person is deliberately undermining you then obviously you have a right to be upset. Have you ever challenged them? You could start with the classic Mumsnet response of ' Did you mean to be so rude?' Whilst looking them straight in the eye. That should give them pause for thought.

Of course it's not weird to find continually spiteful behaviour towards you upsetting.

Why do you still have this person in your life, though?

You could start with the classic Mumsnet response of ' Did you mean to be so rude?' Whilst looking them straight in the eye.

I can never understand why people suggest this or think it's such a cool response.

Surely any self respecting person would just reply with, "Yes."

If they're deliberately doing it out of the earshot of others, they know exactly what they're doing.

What would you say to that?