Partner says I'm selfish because I won't drink with him...

[BabyUxX]

Is this normal behaviour?
Sometimes - on a Friday night we will have a drink together but sometimes I just don't fancy it, and I don't wanna get drunk or feel horrible the next day either which he likes to do, it's clearly become an issue for him because if I say I don't feel like it - he will say I am selfish and he just wants to be like the other couples who drink together on a Friday night. He says I am boring if I don't want a drink with him and he says I am like an old woman because I like cups of tea instead of a drink of alcohol with him sometimes. It's actually hurtful and I can never win the argument either, I just want to know, am I boring for refusing a drink? Am I an old woman for refusing? Isit such a bad thing if I don't drink? I never ever stop him from drinking or make him feel bad.

this is what I was thinking. He has an alcohol problem and OP not drinking makes his drinking more noticeable.

I'm thinking projection too. My late husband was an alcoholic and when I did my first dry month (to find out whether I was too) he was dreadful about it. My mother became alcohol dependent in later life and got very very angry with me when I wouldn't match her drink for drink the day my father died. I'm a very moderate drinker and I hate the loss of control that comes with being drunk, so I don't.

His attitude to alcohol is bent. Does he have any kind of dependency? I imagine it’s making you want to drink even less that he’s so pushy, desperate to guzzle down alcohol and being an arsehole to you.

A man who wants to spend every Friday night pissed on the sofa.

It’s not you who’s boring.