Split up and I'm gutted, but WIBU?

[Iamclearlyamug]

Will try to keep this short, there is some back story but I'd like to know what people think without knowing that first.

If your partner lived in your house and paid £150 a week towards rent, bills etc but wasn't working, didn't seem to be that fussed about finding work and you didn't know where the money was coming from - would that bother you?

On that basis yes. The fact you didn't know suggests this person wasn't honest/didn't tell you and I would be thinking there was criminality of some sort involved. Best case scenario would be inheritance or payout for something that had happened in the past.

I can't ever imagine myself living with partner who, a) wasn't bothered about working, and, b) wasn't open about his finances.

It doesn't sound like a relationship to me. More like two flatmates.

I wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t working because it suggests a lack of ambition and laziness. It could be from savings? Benefits? If neither of those I’d definitely ditch because it’s gonna be gambling/cash in hand work/drugs/ theft.

If that didn't bother you, you have extremely low standards. Be gone with the cocklodger.

If they didn't work because of a disability or illness that would be very different to just can't be bothered.

I would want to know where the money was coming from to be sure it's legal.

Yes

My partner had a job when I met him but after we had kids he became a SAHD, fine as I wanted to return to work, but that was 10 years ago and he's had sporadic work at best with long periods of sod all. It has very nearly broken us and I struggle to respect him tbh.

Don't be me!

Of course it would. I wouldn’t be living with someone like that

Is he a pothead/other recreational drug user?

If so, I'd be thinking he deals as well.

I can't imagine sharing a home with someone and knowing so little about them.

My first thought was maybe a drug dealer? Or family giving them money?

I instantly thought dealer.

It's not the not working. It is not being open about his financial situation when he lives with you.

Maybe his Mum is covering his bills. Maybe he's a criminal. Maybe he won the lottery before he met you. Maybe he has inherited a trust fund.

The point is that unless he tells you how you can be in a serious relationship?

I wouldn't want to share my home with someone who has money from an unknown source. If he's dealing there could be dodgy individuals in your house when you are out at work.
I hope he's now moved out of your home