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Original poster

Ex wife drama

39 replies

Whoknows11 · 24/03/2023 23:34

Pretty much that really. Separately 3 years, she's moved on but obviously still holds lots of resentment and jealousy. When she has a go at him, she clicks her fingers snd says she needs to speak to him so they argue at length. Going round in circles. Last night it was gone 10pm when she went over to his (we don't live together) to argue. He allows it. I don't know why? Causing me to doubt us. It's never ending. Always a drama every month at least. He thinks they're friends, she's vile to him.
Any words of wisdom how to deal with this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whoknows11 · 25/03/2023 21:28

Lots of history in their relationship which she's bitter about and quite rightly so but surely just surely after years you let it go. It's not healthy to harbour all the anger and bitterness. I speak from personal experience.

I'm glad he's telling me as he's being honest.

Nope definitely arguing and not shagging!

It annoys me how he allows it,hopefully over time he'll put a stop to it.

He's an amazing guy with so many qualities, his annoying ex isn't a reason for me to ditch him as his children will soon be adults and he'll have little to no contact with his ex.

Glad to know ex wife drama is a thing!

OP posts:
CherryCokeFanatic · 26/03/2023 00:10

Could they be ending up having sex when she goes round his to argue?

cassiatwenty · 26/03/2023 00:11

ALLIS0N · 25/03/2023 01:00

This. Life is too short.

Show quote history

Indeed

Theunamedcat · 26/03/2023 00:15

He is permitting this dynamic to continue he clearly gets something out of it even if it's a "she still luuurves me" ego boost
He is the only one who can stop this if he doesn't or doesn't even try then he is more into the drama than you

Pixiedust1234 · 26/03/2023 00:22

Last night it was gone 10pm when she went over to his (we don't live together) to argue. He allows it. I don't know why?

Because he can't let go. Most argumentative people want the last word, and that's impossible with two wanting it.

All he had to do was not open the door. Not answer his phone. If she bangs too loudly the neighbours will possibly call the police and she won't want that.

Walk away, it probably won't change.

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 05:27

I am left wondering why he allows her to go round and argue with him. He says it's to get it sorted otherwise it prolongs it. I've viewed my feelings on the matter. She's controlling and somehow he facilitates it. He knows if it gets too much I'll walk away.

Definitely not having sex, they didn't have sex when they were married so v unlikely now!

OP posts:
GoodChat · 26/03/2023 06:25

If their children are teens he doesn't need to have any contact with her. He can just communicate with his children.

What are they arguing about?

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 07:38

Issues with the manipulating older teen. He says she says story. Lots of history and the teen stick in the middle. The mum belittling the dad, saying he's lying etc. it's a mess tbh. The teen is in the middle.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 26/03/2023 07:39

Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 07:38

Issues with the manipulating older teen. He says she says story. Lots of history and the teen stick in the middle. The mum belittling the dad, saying he's lying etc. it's a mess tbh. The teen is in the middle.

She can only be in the middle if he's contributing to the problem

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 07:50

Yep he's not helping but getting him to see that is tricky. I want to stay out of it all but also what to tell him how it makes me feel. I've told him it's not a normal approach, hopefully next time he'll think twice.

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 26/03/2023 10:50

You are being naive if you think they are having sex behind your back. That is why she has such a hold on him. She calls the shots or you will be told he is cheating...

category12 · 26/03/2023 11:19

Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 05:27

I am left wondering why he allows her to go round and argue with him. He says it's to get it sorted otherwise it prolongs it. I've viewed my feelings on the matter. She's controlling and somehow he facilitates it. He knows if it gets too much I'll walk away.

Definitely not having sex, they didn't have sex when they were married so v unlikely now!

According to who, was there no sex, tho?

And "hysterical bonding" sex is a thing (usually after an affair or similar, where a couple's sexlife reignites after a disruptive event), so it seems to me possible that even if their sexlife had died within marriage, it could restart.

It just seems very strange that she goes round to argue late at night and he lets her in.

Not saying my theory is correct, but either way, they're far too entangled still for me to want to be in the middle of it. Drama triangles are not really worth a candle.

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 26/03/2023 12:55

Totally get the last comment. However I just can't see it. This recent argument the older term was there too! But thanks for your view, totally open minded on it. Nothing surprises me anymore!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 26/03/2023 13:01

He's still allowing this because he likes it, and you're not important enough to him to put an end to it.

Stop being a mug and raise your standards. Why on earth would you want this baggage and bullshit in your life?

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