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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf antidepressants are affecting my mood

2 replies

Uncertain1 · 24/03/2023 20:22

My bf and I have been together just over 2 years. He is on a very high dosage of anti depressants and the side effects are really starting to affect me negatively.

I don't think I have a high sex drive but his is completly non exisistant. We haven't had sex now since September and it's really starting to bring me down. He knows this but it just seems to make him more depressed. He changed up his pills for me about a year ago as they have always had an affect and the new ones seem worse. Whilst I know I shouldn't rely on him to make me feel good and I don't I work out look after myself the constant rejection when I try and turn him on is starting to get to me. He spoke to a doctor and they said the only thing he can do is go back to his old meds which have the same effect. He is afraid to go into therapy and try to bring down his dosage as he doesn't want to bring up old feelings. But I am at a loss at what to do, he is so depressed all the time hates his job but won't look for a new one but he is really starting to bring me down and knock my confidence. It's not about the sex per sey it's about the lack of physical connection. He doesn't even enjoy making out all I get are quick kisses. He is very loving in other ways always touching me and rubbing my leg but I'm so frustrated I just don't know what to do anymore as I love him.

OP posts:
Thepossibility · 24/03/2023 21:03

There's nothing you can do to turn him on, his responses aren't a reflection on you.
I remember when I was on a low dose antidepressant and my sex drive went to zero. Even being actually touched felt like nothing.
Even thinking about the hottest person I could possibly think about. Nothing.

FinallyHere · 24/03/2023 21:23

He is afraid to go into therapy and try to bring down his dosage as he doesn't want to bring up old feelings.

While this remains his approach, there is nothing you can do to fix him.

I would honestly encourage you to consider what he is bringing to your life. It seems to me as an outsider that he is dragging you down.

As women, we are socialised to think that we should help men but honestly, there is nothing you can do to help.

You are in a situation where the best advice is to sort out your own oxygens mask before trying to help anyone else.

Get rid, focus on building yourself a better life. This will not get better. Sorry.

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