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Relationships

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moving on after divorce

2 replies

timjohn123 · 23/03/2023 17:23

About 1.5 years ago I went through a divorce..It was also my first break up as we met in high school (15 year relationship)

Since the divorce my ex partner and I are in new relationships and for the most part its been positive. I found out yesterday she's getting married again and I feel like I'm having delayed grief...For the whole break up I felt like it was the right thing to do and we both agreed it was. However in hindsight I didnt take the time to process my emotions and grieve the loss. I tried to block it out, move on and stay busy.

However now I'm feeling all of these emotions that are painful. Its not regret but it feels like I've not only lost a partner but I've lost a friend who has been part of my life since I was 15 years old.

The partner I'm with now is compatible in a lot of ways but I do find she's sensitive to any mention of my ex. She flagged there was jealousy and her father cheated on her mum which has made her find it difficult to establish trust..I've found over the past year there'd be numerous occasions of me being at a movie with a friend and she'd ask to take pictures of the ticket or me being on the street shopping and her needing photos of the groceries. It got intense.

I told her last night about my ex remarrying to give her reassurance that she's moved on and there's nothing to worry about. However that back fired because now she's saying things like "you can still get her back if you want" and "I cant be with someone that misses their ex"

I want to be a good partner and I'm genuinely happy for my ex. However I've got this pain and I cant show it at home without being labelled a cheater/non-committed boyfriend.

Is there any advice on how to manage this a healthy way?

Apologies for the long story *

OP posts:
Rockingchai · 23/03/2023 18:39

I would really put the breaks on with your current partner. Those signs of control and extreme jealousy are not normal and only likely to get worse over time.

xfan · 23/03/2023 21:45

Sounds like neither of you could be alone for 5 min amd got into new relationships pretty much as soon as your old one finished. Are you afraid of being alone?

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