I've been with my current bf for 4 years, we have a 2 year old son together. He's ready to leave me atm but I think our relationship is a big issue tbh but I'm finding it hard to believe I'm right to do so, so need advice please.
Prior to meeting him I was in a relationship with a narcissistic who controlled my finances and doings etc and when I broke up with him and met current bf few months after he told me that he couldn't believed what my ex had put me through (there's a lot to it)
Anyway I've never been happy with the way I look after having my daughter, I go to the gym but not as much as id like to as my bf works away so I work part time and get our child to and from nursery before i can go to work etc. He moans if i go to the gym when hes back at the weekend saying "id rather be anywhere but with him" so i stopped going on the weekend.
I also pay half towards our bills so even though he works away and I can only work part time because of his working away and child care i pick up £1000 a month with him picking up £4000 I still pay half to every bill, he just buys the "weekend shop" and the holidays we go on each year out of his tax rebate and the day trips out which I appreciate. If he pays for a day trip I've noticed he gives me less money towards bills as they come out of my account.
Now, I know people are against fillers but I've wanted to get a little filler in my top lip (it's fully reversible after 2 weeks if I don't like it) but he said he didn't want me to have it done,
i said i want it done and I'm sick of being with men who tell me what to do when, they do what they want as he gambles which I don't like (he's had a massive problem with gambling in the past - funny enough so did my ex) to the point he's knocked a couple of hundred pounds off his half of the bills because he gambled it away! I had to pay it with my savings, we have had conversations about it but not once have I threatened to leave him, i support him . He also smokes (I don't smoke) Also to mention he games on his PC until early hours of the morning when he comes back home and not to mention I do all the house work and this got me so down when we had a new born as I was up all night with him and bf slept in because of gaming all night! (I've been on depression pills since) not to knit pick but there's parts on his side that he does that I dont agree on but he's never stopped doing those things because I don't like them?
Well I got my lips done and told him and now he's accusing me of going behind his back? When I tried to have the conversation with him and he just said he doesn't want me to do it- end of! I said I'm booking it anyway but just didn't tell him when because of his reaction.
Well now he's canceling the holidays we have booked as im sly, he's taking our son on a day trip the weekend and he doesn't want me there even though I'm off this weekend and Said if I have money spare to do my lips then I can start paying for more around the house?
We have put our savings together and I put 10 grand (previous house sale savings) and he's put £300 in...
Everything we have got is the things I've brought because when I met him he used to blow his money and lives with his nan! (He was 31) he told me all he wants in life is a child and looking back now I don't think he knew what having a child involved and how hard it was but I don't regret My son with him.
He also mentioned that he's sick of me moaning at him for doing nothing when hes back the weekend as he works all week so can sit on his a**e if he wants.... all I ask is for him to clean his tobacco off the counter and run the hoover around when I'm at work on Saturday...
I know I'm ramberling on and my grammar is terrible as im crying but I just wanted to reach out to someone, I try telling my friend and she says I'm point blank stupid for being with him...