Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH ended our marriage tonight

31 replies

Fluffyd0g · 22/03/2023 00:44

20years together, 15 years married, 2DC aged 12 and 10.

Things have been rocky for a while. Both have depression and anxiety which has affected things.

I honestly thought we could work it out. Have honest conversations, own up to mistakes and hurt caused. He said he just doesn’t see a way to do that and he can’t keep hurting.

My world just crashed and the person I would hold on to until things got better has turned their back on me. It hurts so much, my kids are going to be in so much pain. I don’t know how to tell them. It was meant to be forever, I still love him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fluffyd0g · 25/03/2023 11:51

Thank you @Hehx3 pour a little kindness into the cup is a fab mantra. We all deserve those moments of kindness to ourselves.

@Karma2023 it is so good to hear how well you DC are doing. The advice about keeping routine is a good one. I am sorry that you have been through this pain and still have struggles.

It is so unfair. One minute at time, I guess

OP posts:
Karma2023 · 25/03/2023 17:59

@Fluffyd0g if sleep is a problem you could try pherghan, over the counter older style histamine. It was recommended on MN and can help to ensure you get some sleep.

Original poster
Fluffyd0g · 29/03/2023 19:18

How do I let go of hope? Hope that there may be a way to sort things out? Hope that he will realise it’s not what he wants? Hope he still lived me?

There is still this hope that I keep trying to silence and say look at all this that basically says he does not love you, he is done. It’s still there Ann’s it is going to cause so much pain,.

I just feel stupid and ridiculous that Hope is still there

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 29/03/2023 19:22

I guess years sunk, does not always mean longtivity of a marriage. All the best op

Hawkins003 · 29/03/2023 19:23

Fluffyd0g · 29/03/2023 19:18

How do I let go of hope? Hope that there may be a way to sort things out? Hope that he will realise it’s not what he wants? Hope he still lived me?

There is still this hope that I keep trying to silence and say look at all this that basically says he does not love you, he is done. It’s still there Ann’s it is going to cause so much pain,.

I just feel stupid and ridiculous that Hope is still there

In the end you can only trust yourself and focus on the children.

Hehx3 · 29/03/2023 22:00

Try not to think what he wants and does, will do or wont, try to ask yourself: Do I want to be with a man like that? Cause at the end of a day even if he comes back mopping the floor would you be able to trust him he is not going to do that again? Or will you be anxious all the time?
You release the hope by checking in with yourself.
It is difficult but you will get there I promise the world will be happy and safe place again x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread