So me and boyfriend got together in 2016. He then cheated on me in 2021. I admit, our relationship was not the best and he told me after he was very unhappy. I obviously kicked him out and we split.
He then went with somebody else to the person he cheated on me with. He never really made it official with any of them but he was sleeping with/seeing them like they were a couple.
Late into 2021 he told me that actually he missed me and wanted me back. I kept him at a distance but we became friends again (please don’t judge me for this. We lost our baby daughter in the April so kept in touch anyway). Eventually we fell back in love and things were good. It wasn’t easy but I could tell he meant it. We were happy. Everything was different.
Flash forward to May 2022 I saw the first message from the girl he originally left me for. Obviously intrigued and me being me, I looked into it more in his Apple Watch. She was initiating the convo, or at least what I saw of it but he was still replying. It didn’t bother me too much. She is a colleague so I thought ok let it go. Maybe it is her and not him. He pledged he just wanted to be civil for work. She hated me so wanted to spite me anyway.
Then two more conversations came from her. Again, only what I’d seen. There could be more but it’s deleted? One was her initiating convo, one was my boyfriend saying he’d seen her ex at a football match. There was also a reply from my bf asking if she had a boyfriend now??
Flash forward to the current day, he’s now sent a TikTok to her. Only a joke one. FYI, none of the messages I have seen have been sexual or loving but again, I don’t know if anything has been deleted. He’s completely denied it saying it wasn’t sent to her but deleted it as soon as I saw it.
He hasn’t been going anywhere for long periods of time which I caught him out doing before when he cheated so have no reason to think he’s doing anything else. He’s never late home from work and on his days off we are always together or with his family.
I’ve told him before that I don’t like it and I find it disrespectful because of the history but it’s carried on and he’s hidden it from me. I’ve obviously confronted him about it and I’ve told him to leave as I’m not going to stand for it anymore. The more I forgive, the more he will walk all over me and do it again.
He also then admitted that he had to talk to the other girl he had been sleeping with on the phone for a work related matter (they are colleagues as well) she is newly single and has recently unblocked him to call him so obviously this worries me as well now and who knows if he’s just trying to cover his tracks and he had acc been in touch with her as well??
What I want to know is, do I stick to my word and end it or am I being irrational? He’s trying to keep us together but I don’t trust him at all and I’m not happy carrying on being walked all over. It will only be a matter of time and I feel he will do it again. I feel humiliated and a laughing stock as all these girls know he’s with me and there he is doing this!! Am I doing the right thing saying goodbye once and for all?? TIA x