Marriage dead, husband in denial, anyone in the same boat?

[teastainedmug]

Does anyone else feel like you are living a double life, where you work, deal with the kids, go to the supermarket, generally function as a normal person, but inside you want to scream from the unhappiness of your marriage?

My DH is in total denial, and our life together is a total lie, I feel panic rising up in my throat sometimes when I think about what a sad mess it all is.

I'm seeing a counsellor on my own which I find really helpful at understanding how I made the life choices I did which got me to this place. And I've confided in a few friends who are supportive.

But it is so hard to summon up the courage to take the practical steps needed to end the marriage (if we didn't have kids I'd be off without a backwards glance) I feel like I am wishing my life away, wanting something so different from the life I have.

Just looking for some moral support from those in a similar situation

@teastainedmug I initially went to a local solicitor in Feb 2019 (argh) and he really deflated me. I felt like there was no way out from what he said, and I kind of gave up. Then I tried again about two years later with a solicitor further afield as by that time is was well into lockdown and it was all telephone appointments anyway, and more recently a friend recommended someone she used and I am currently in touch with them to say that I'll use them once I decide to go ahead. Just to add, the other solicitors after the first failure were far more encouraging! If you do want to speak to someone and you don't want your husband to find out, it is straightforward to go with any solicitor in any location as you don't really ever need to see them face to face.