So confused

[Enid7]

This is my first time posting, I don’t really have any other outlet so here it goes. I have been with my partner 10plus years and we have 2 children, I guess I am just wondering if the way he acts/ talks is reasonable or not, no real arguments or fallouts- I just find myself constantly questioning his behaviour but I’m not sure if it’s my issue or his?
some random examples- he makes comments about me still breastfeeding -(I8month old , saying it’s not right , I need to stop and it’s just weird?)
says - don’t I wish I had more in my life. Was more about me again, ?
always compares us to other families and what they would be doing
if I say his name- he will say “what do you want now, i leave the room for 2 minutes and your saying my name “
I very rarely ask for help have mostly done a lot of it alone and I don’t ever hold any of this against him as he works so I genuinely don’t understand this?
and just he will say “ you’ve sorted this havent you” when he knows I haven’t got round to it ??
I have tried talking to him and he doesn’t see any issue just says I’m sensitive and touchy,

also my dd has asd and struggles massively with changes and busy places, if she voices she is struggling or is having a meltdown which is clearly caused by sensory/busy place - he just goes “ oh you’ll be alright you can cope “but in quite a mean voice further upsetting dd?

like I said not really sure why I’m posting, just something doesn’t always sit right in my gut and I can’t explain it, thank you for reading if you have got this far ☺️ xxx

If you and your 18-month old are happy with BF, then continue to do so. It is not weird.

I very rarely ask for help
It's not help, it's pulling his weight and contributing to family life.

I have tried talking to him and he doesn’t see any issue just says I’m sensitive and touchy,
Blaming you, instead of doing something about it.

It sounds like you are married to a selfish shit.

You seem very vulnerable.

2 kids - not married.
I'm guessing you are not working?
Dependent on a man who is very critical and not supportive.
It doesn't look like the relationship is loving or strong.

In your shoes I'd be planning to become independent - because I doubt this will go the distance.

By posting, you know something isn't right I suppose. I have two children with my husband and it's nothing like that. Every woman deserves a supportive man who pulls his weight.

he just sounds plain unkind

It sounds like he’s regularly feeling irritated by things you do/don’t do and this often happens when someone has lost respect for you. This isn’t your fault, it’s his emotions and feelings but it is a huge problem for you as unless things change you will end up feeling worthless and miserable if you don’t already. Being criticised constantly will wear anyone down and ruin your self esteem. It may not seem like a huge deal right now and something you’re willing to live with and tolerate but with another 10 years of this treatment you won’t even recognise yourself anymore.

I’d start a calm conversation about why he’s acting this way and why his feelings have changed towards you. I’m guessing he hasn’t always been like this? It should have been on him to talk to you if he’d started feeling negative towards you but a lot of people don’t confront issues easily so you sometimes have to start the conversation yourself if you want answers. If he won’t engage in conversation and actually explain why he’s feeling that way and/or wont agree to therapy etc then you need to consider all your options including ending it so you can move on with a happier, healthy future with your children or potentially feel like this forever if you stay.

Every relationship has ups and downs but it can only be happy and go the distance if there’s mutual respect, honesty and trust and if both people consistently engage in making it work.

Hope it all works out for you