Am i being used (friends) or just too sensitive?

[kyreeeee]

I’m on mat leave so maybe taking things to heart/have too much time to think.

One close friend takes up to two weeks to read a message. In the past she’s been constantly on the phone about her issues in relationships or with her family etc and I’ve been there 100%. She’s always acknowledged this and seemed appreciative. I don’t think the long silences are related to my baby as I make a huge effort when we meet to ensure I’m fully engaged in the conversation and interested in her life. I absolutely do not talk about the baby constantly. I’m certain I’ve not changed in that respect. I’ve had a tricky time recently with my partner and I’m finding it quite shitty she’s not as responsive as I would be by a long way if the tables were reversed. When she has replied eventually I can tell it’s just to get the response done rather than actual concern.

Another friend has spent the last month almost daily contacting me about her relationship breakdown. I offered to meet her four times and she cancelled last minute on each occasion, once because her ex partner wanted to meet though I found this out accidentally a week later. She doesn’t know I know. They’re now back together and I’ve not heard from her since.

I’m quite independent but enjoy social occasions and I can multi task quite well. I feel like now I’m on maternity leave I can clearly see I’ve been used, whereas in the past I would be very busy at work and probably not take it to heart in the same way. I expected more from these people when I have a baby and have recently faced a difficult time with my partner which they both know about. Am I being dramatic?

These friends do not know each other, not sure if that is relevant but thought I’d add it!

I don't think you're being dramatic OP, they're being shitty friends. It's all one sided.

I think you're absolutely right. I found mat leave very isolating, and that accentuated things like this. If you were at work you'd have less time to care.

Options?

1. Have an honest conversation with them and tell them how they've made you feel. Give them the chance to improve.

2. Cut them out. You're not getting anything out of the friendships apart from made to feel used.

3. Ignore the issues and repeat.

It's not a nice feeling, especially when you need a friend.

You’re not being dramatic or sensitive. They both sound selfish and inconsiderate.

Are there other friendships you can invest your energy in? These two sound unworthy of your time.

Op hope you ok. Hopefully you might meet new mams through the kids. I felt that way too its not nice. Just feeling used.

Thanks. Finding it quite hard, suppose it’s my own fault for giving so much of my time in the past, they’re not obliged to reciprocate I suppose!