Hi there, I have 2 children- (8 & 5) and am married to my husband. For the most part he is a good father, takes kids to footie, plays with them sonetimes. He is however impatient with the kids and shouts alot at them (and me). As a husband we have definitely had our up's and downs. Prior to the most recent incident, I would say our relationship was stable - 5/10.
There is no domestic violence towards me, just lack of emotional and physical support with child rearing/housework in terms of practical stuff- I pretty much do all the housework, ensure healthy food for kids, religiously attend to kids oral hygiene every night (our children have dental issues, which requires meticulous dental hygiene), if I should be absent, my husband just leaves the kids to it, to care for their own teeth, contrary to dentist advise. They are not big enough to adequately clean their teeth. This drives me mad, as their teeth are so delicate and have caused me lots of stress and tears trying to manage them.

I have reduced my working hours, so as to better manage our household, even though I'm the high earner.

My main problem is the way he plays /interacts at times with our ds. The most recent incident saw my child bang his teeth off of my husbands fist when they were playing fighting. His teeth were bleeding, very painful, but seemed to settle down after a while. My dh also freely uses bad language while interacting with the kids. He encourages kids to stand up for themselves, a little too much I feel, as it almost makes our children a little bit "aggressive" with their peers if the should be accidentally bumped etc in school yard etc.

My children worship their father, understandably. These issues are not new. I have raised my concerns on several occasions to discuss this with my husband, but the problem continues. He laughs at me if I suggest we need some sort of family intervention/counselling, he tells me its all in my head.

I'm wondering if I'm over reacting, but I really feel my husbands negative influence weighs as much as his positive influence, and at times brings out the worst possible behaviour in my ds. I dread where this might end up, when my ds is a teen, and I won't be able to exert as much control/influence over him.

I am considering leaving dh-(I have done in the past, prob every 3-4 months I have this conversation with myself), I dont want my home to be full of shouting, feelings of sadness at least every week/(often tears by me once weekly) by myself regarding our situation. My dh will never leave, so I will need to take the leap. It's the last thing I want to break up our home, but feel by staying, I'm denying myself the right to happiness (I dont want to meet anyone else) and also harming my ds behaviour/view etc.

Sorry for long post, just trying to give some background.
Appreciate advise x