How do you manage an adult bully?
I ignored for a long time but that hasn't helped.
I am not looking for an online diagnosis here. I do think there is something wrong with her but I am not qualified to diagnosis her.
- She found offence easily
- Carries so much around with her
- Files old rows at the back of the her mind but never forgets about them and throws them at you again and again.
- has prolonged hatred
- intense hate
- prolonged and intense revenges.
- bounced from one to another finding issues and 'cutting contact' but never really cutting contact, maintaining a life of revenges.
There's been 10 yeses of abuse against the family.
For the most part a lot of us has ignored her in the hope that she will go away and he bored. One sibling ignored her at first but his buttons were pushed so many times, he responded to her and he was revenged most.
She tried to wreck everything. Shame us and humiliate us and its over and over and over again.
I think maybe mothers day might be triggering her and she started it up all over again.
The family took steps at minimising this and blocking her but she still finds ways around blocks. When she does make contact - it's filled with insults and it's petty and it's old rows and it's twisted and I get the impression that the only feelings that matter are hers and hers only. There is often unwritten threats and coercion to serve her feelings and provide her with the answers she's looking for.
Often over petty stuff that she filed away into her mind.
I don't live in England where there's better laws unfortunately.
I think if I was living in England the police and the law would be better and thus would be over. Where I am from, the police siad they needed her to act in a violent manner before they will take action and they said its a civil matter. I explored the civil route and its awful. The only option open to me is an injunction and I don't have the means for it.
This person is a bully, through and through.
She wants to tear us down and wreck everything.
I feel she has unwritten goals and that is to bully us into ending our own lives to pay punishment on our mother. They never saw eye to eye and she's holding a lot from her childhood. A lot of it is misdirected anger.
The parents relationship was broken and we lived in poverty due to my father's alcoholism.
She doesn't have a bad word to say about him and all her hate is at the parent who stayed. She wasn't perfect and she had it in for me too sometimes but at least she stayed and she wasn't an alcoholic or an evil person and life wasn't easy for her living with him. A lot of her issues I think is stemming from her childhood.
Enough is enough now. We are all close in age and we all went through the same home.
She's a bully through and through.
She would paint a picture of being a nice, victimless angel.
She's a bully who only wants her own way.
How do I deal with this.
I often ignore her.
I had a friend before who was in an abusive relationship and she got nowhere with the authorities. She eventually took to her facebook and she wrote a post and exposed him but that was it then. He stopped. I am thinking about doing the same.
I don't know any other way of dealing with this when the professionals failed me.
If people knew what she was really like. What she's really capable of doing and saying. I don't know if that's the answer or if that would only fuel her anger. But then, if I was to expose her she could likely do the same and twist everything.
She's someone who needs to talk to someone but she won't do that in favour of lashing out time and time and time and time again.
At one point in the past, I gave her what she was looking for and all she did was rip it apart and dismiss it and mock me and I had to walk away.
I thought about the possibility of a mediator, but she did far too many revenges, one too many times for any of that. She's evil.
She doesn't even want a sibling relationship with me. She just wants me to engage with her and give her answers she thinks she is owed and I don't have them because she's irritational.